By Jennifer Love, MD
You’ve seen the memes: A fully packed stadium with the words: “Alcoholics Anonymous Meeting, 2021.” “If you have a drink in each hand there’s a 100% chance you won’t touch your face!” We’ve updated our vocabulary to include “Quarantini.” Amazon now sells a Sit and Sip Refillable Winebag Chair, which pictures an enormous beanbag the size of a small car, with a woman lounging atop drinking from a plastic tube.
The message is clear: When crisis strikes, drinking is not only socially acceptable but encouraged. A study early on in the pandemic claims 1 in 3 Americans are more likely to drink alcohol during work hours while in lockdown. The numbers vary by states: 38% of California, New York, and Pennsylvania workers are drinking during work; about 50% in Idaho, Kansas, Iowa, and Virginia; and Hawaii “wins” at a reported 67%. The study didn’t even look at non-work hour consumption!
As mental health care providers, we have to take notice.
You may share my observation that shortly into the COVID crisis many psychiatric patients decompensated and needed increasing amounts of attention and treatment, and many addiction patients seemed to recede into some secret abyss.
I’ve also seen a tide of new patients scheduled by concerned family members because hiding an addiction is a lot more challenging when everyone is stuck in the home together. But COVID fear is also a barrier to treatment, as many families refuse to consider treatment modalities that involve anyone leaving the house, limiting treatment to online support.
I’ve been pushed into a more creative role of trying to invent ways to support the recovery of my patients and encouraging ongoing engagement. I’m certainly stretching my Motivational Interviewing muscles, trying to help people find reasons to change behaviors when many literally have nothing to do. Many of our old standbys of “is your drinking causing any problems with work/social interactions/legally…” may not apply. So how can we comfortably discuss increased alcohol or substance use during the COVID era with patients who aren’t in treatment for any addiction?
Well, substance use is like suicide—asking about it is necessary, and it doesn’t increase the risk of someone trying it. So even if you don’t specialize in treating substance use disorders, with a few tips you can proceed comfortably. Refresh yourself with the basics of helping someone increase their own internal motivation for change.
Here are 5 strategies I use.
I tell my patients from day one that we have a “judgment-free space.” I used to be a chemist, and successful experiments don’t rely on judgment. They rely on observation. I go in with a hypothesis, and it’s either correct or incorrect; there’s no need to be attached to whether I’m right. Either way I’m publishing a paper. If we can cultivate a sense of curiosity about ourselves rather than judgment, motivation for self-exploration increases exponentially. Don’t assume your longtime patients know you won’t judge them. Think about how many of them suffer low self-esteem, negative thoughts, and self-doubt. It needs to be stated.
“What do you value? Does your current alcohol consumption fit in with those values?” “If COVID is going to go on for a few years, do you want to spend those years being a daily drinker?” “We’re six months in. Did you ever expect to be a daily or near-daily drinker for that long? I think we’re all thinking about that now—even some of my friends and colleagues!” The purpose is for your patient to discover discrepancies between their values or goals and their behavior.
Your patient already knows your opinion on smoking, drinking, using drugs, playing video games, or watching porn 12 hours a day. They aren’t discussing this with you because they don’t know what is best; we, as humans, are just wired not to want to make changes. Confrontation slams the door.
Since we as humans resist change, encourage curiosity about internal resistance. I once did a podcast called “Why don’t I want to do the things I want to do?” I want to eat healthy and exercise, but what I really want is to eat pizza and watch Netflix. Judging the pizza and inactivity doesn’t inspire change, it induces shame, which drives people inward (now curled up on the couch). Being curious about the pizza and inactivity allows someone to explore the thoughts and feelings that contribute to their internal resistance and do what they logically want to do.
This is when I bring out my famous (ha!) snorkeling analogy. Yes, the words, “Life is like snorkeling” have escaped my lips more than once, but hear me out. We’re out snorkeling, eyes on the colors—the fish, the coral, watching out for reef sharks—and every once in a while, we have to stop, look up, and see where land is. We have to make sure we haven’t drifted. Sometimes we have to swim over to a new area, and then can start looking down again, getting caught up in the colorful show of life. We will hopefully do this a few times in life—make sure where we are is where we want to be in relation to our “grounding spot.” Are you where you want to be? Are your patients?
Dr. Jennifer Love is board-certified in psychiatry, addiction psychiatry, and addiction medicine, and is a Diplomate of the American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology and the American Board of Addiction Medicine. Dr. Love is an award-winning researcher and international speaker, interested in the interface between cultural and spiritual factors and overall mental health. She is also suboxone certified. Dr. Love’s work focuses on restoring life balance, brain and body health, and helping her patients improve their functionality and satisfaction in life. She considers a wide range of interventions including nutraceuticals, medication, exercise, yoga, psychotherapy, and sleep/relaxation training. Her specialties include mood disorders, substance use disorders, anxiety disorders, anger and irritability, behavioral addictions, co-occurring pain, and opioid dependence.
Dr. Love is the co-author of When Crisis Strikes: 5 Steps to Heal Your Brain, Body, and Life from Chronic Stress. Stay up to date by following @dr_author_jennifer_love on Instagram.
Suicide is devastating for the loved ones who are left behind. Family and friends often say they didn’t notice any signs of suicidal tendencies, which leaves them wondering what they might have missed. But what if brain imaging could predict who will attempt suicide? Exciting brain imaging research from 2017 in Nature Human Behavior found that based on brain scans alone, a computer could identify with 94% accuracy rate which study participants had suicidal tendencies. Earlier research from Amen Clinics, the world’s leader in brain health—including a 2009 brain imaging study in The Journal of Neuropsychiatry and Neurosciences on 12 people who completed suicide and a 2011 brain imaging study in Translational Psychiatry on 21 people who completed suicide—found abnormalities in brain function in these people. Both of these studies found decreased cerebral blood flow in specific areas of the brain, including the prefrontal cortex (see below). The researchers concluded, “This work suggests that SPECT might be useful in predicting risk for suicide completion in subjects with depression or treatment-resistant depression.” “Finding biological biomarkers in the brain that are associated with suicidal thoughts and behaviors could ultimately save lives,” says Dr. Daniel Amen, founder of Amen Clinics, which has built the world’s largest brain imaging database related to behavior. “Finding biological biomarkers in the brain that are associated with suicidal thoughts and behaviors could ultimately save lives.” — Dr. Daniel Amen, founder of Amen Clinics This would also benefit family and friends, who must deal with a legacy of unimaginable pain when a loved one dies by suicide. “The pain of suicide is unlike any other loss because people see it as a choice, rather than as a consequence of brain health problems,” says Dr. Amen. Understanding that brain dysfunction is at the root of suicide helps loved ones process their grief and alleviates feelings of guilt. “The pain of suicide is unlike any other loss because people see it as a choice, rather than as a consequence of brain health problems.” — Dr. Daniel Amen, founder of Amen ClinicsIf you’re feeling depressed, you may go to a psychologist, psychiatrist, or your primary care physician (who prescribe 85% of psychiatric medications), who will ask you to describe your symptoms. In most cases, your doctor will listen, do a brief examination, then look for symptom clusters. Based on this, they’ll give you a diagnosis and treatment plan, usually involving one or more psychiatric medications.
For example, you may say, “I’m depressed.” Your doctor will then label you with a diagnosis that has the same name as your symptoms—depression, in this example—without taking any biological information into consideration. And you’re likely to walk out with a prescription for antidepressant medication.
Unfortunately, antidepressants are often ineffective. Approximately one-third of people with depression don’t respond fully to treatment with antidepressants, according to a 2015 study in Dialogues in Clinical Neuroscience.
What’s the problem?
Symptoms don’t reveal anything about the underlying biology of the problems people have. All other medical professionals look directly at the organs they treat, but psychiatrists are taught to assume what the underlying biological mechanisms are for illnesses, such as depression, without ever looking at the brain. Because of this, the root causes of depression are often missed.
Brain SPECT imaging studies show that depression isn’t a simple or single disorder. In fact, there are 7 types of depression and anxiety. Giving everyone the same treatment will never work. You need to know your depression type.
What you need to know: Getting a brain scan can help determine which type of depression you have so you can get the most effective treatment.
Mild traumatic brain injury is a major cause of psychiatric problems, but very few people know it. Head injuries, even minor ones, increase the risk of depression, according to research in Frontiers in Psychiatry. At Amen Clinics, 40% of patients had a significant brain injury prior to seeking help. Most of them didn’t connect the injury to their psychiatric issues, and many didn’t even remember hurting their head.
What you need to know: A brain scan can reveal damage from a past head injury that may be contributing to feelings of depression.
Just as inflammation can ravage your body, it can also damage your brain and mind. It has been associated with a wide range of neurological and psychiatric illnesses, including depression. If you’ve been treated for major depressive disorder without success, it may be time to look at inflammation as a possible root cause.
What you need to know: Have your doctor check your inflammation levels with tests for C-reactive protein, homocysteine, and the omega-3 index. Avoid eating pro-inflammatory foods (such as corn and soy). A 2015 study in Brain and Behavior has found that some anti-inflammatory medications (such as aspirin and ibuprofen) and nutraceuticals (such as omega-3 fatty acids and curcumin) have been found to decrease depression in people who have evidence of persistent inflammation.
Infectious illnesses including Lyme disease, streptococcus (strep throat), toxoplasmosis, syphilis, helicobacter pylori (H. pylori), HIV/AIDS, herpes, and others are a major cause of psychiatric problems like depression that few medical professionals recognize.
What you need to know: If you or a loved one’s depression is not getting better with standard treatment, consider testing for (and treating) infectious diseases that commonly affect the mind.
In particular, fatigue, difficulty concentrating, brain fog, moodiness, and lack of motivation are common symptoms when neurohormones—such as thyroid, estrogen, progesterone, or testosterone—levels are abnormal.
What you need to know: Have your doctor check your hormone levels and balance them if necessary.
Diabesity is having high blood sugar and/or being overweight or obese. Obesity is associated with a greater risk of depression. According to 2016 research in Current Diabetes Reviews, depression and anxiety are 2-3 times higher in patients with Type 2 diabetes than the general population.
What you need to know: Eat brain healthy foods to help balance blood sugar and to achieve and maintain a healthy weight.
In general, a single night of staring at the ceiling can make you wake up feeling sad, irritable, or moody. Over time, sleep problems can lead to a higher risk of depression. Research in Dialogues in Clinical Neuroscience shows that about 75% of people with depression also have insomnia. In addition, having untreated sleep apnea nearly triples your risk of depression, according to a 2016 study in American Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry.
What you need to know: Create a healthy sleep routine and if you snore, get checked for sleep apnea and treat it if necessary.
Your brain is the most metabolically active organ in your body. As such, it is vulnerable to damage from toxins, such as toxic mold, smoke, conventional cleaning products, carbon monoxide, pesticides, and more. Toxins are one of the major causes of psychiatric issues, such as depression, that traditional psychiatrists almost completely ignore.
What you need to know: Avoid exposure to environmental toxins and get tested for levels of mold toxins, especially if your home has ever been flooded or had water damage.
Depression—as well as anxiety, ADD/ADHD, and other mental health—issues can’t wait. During these uncertain times, your mental well-being is more important than ever and waiting until life gets back to “normal” is likely to make your symptoms worsen over time.
At Amen Clinics, we’re here for you. We offer in-clinic brain scanning and appointments, as well as mental telehealth, remote clinical evaluations, and video therapy for adults, children, and couples. Find out more by speaking to a specialist today at 888-288-9834. If all our specialists are busy helping others, you can also schedule a time to talk.
Are you frustrated that your adult offspring doesn’t have a job, isn’t in college, and isn’t in a job training program? Resentful that they aren’t making an effort to get their life together? Fearful they will lose their friends and become a recluse? Tired of footing the bill? Desperate to help them gain their independence and move out? Join the club.
The “failure to launch” (FTL) syndrome is reaching epidemic proportions. Nearly 10 million U.S. Millennials ages 24-34 still live at home with mom, according to a 2016 analysis of American Community Data by Zillow. The rate of working-age young adults living with mom has been on the rise for over a decade, jumping from 13.1% in 2005 to 21.4% in 2014. Increasing housing costs and longer education times are only partially to blame for the trend.
Failure to launch has been described as “a dysfunctional adult offspring” who doesn’t take the necessary steps to achieve independence combined with at least one parent who feeds the problem by “providing age-inappropriate services.”
Young adults are stigmatized and viewed as lazy and overly pampered. The shame they feel when comparing themselves to their peers who are starting new jobs and moving into apartments can be so paralyzing it keeps them mired in their situation. On the flip side, parents face scrutiny from their own friends and family for pandering to their adult children.
It’s a difficult situation for both sides.
Recognizing the signs of this syndrome in an adult child is a critical step in overcoming the problem. Look for these signs:
Understand that FTL isn’t solely your child’s problem. It’s a two-way street. As a parent, it is especially important to acknowledge that you may be enabling the situation with your behavior. Ask yourself if any of these signs apply to you:
This codependent relationship can have lifelong consequences for everyone involved.
Focusing solely on fixing the symptoms associated with FTL is a mistake. You need to go deeper to find the root cause. What many people don’t realize is that hidden brain dysfunction and mental health issues among adult kids and/or the parents are often contributing to these symptoms. Issues that can keep young people from achieving their potential and make parents enablers include:
Tackling these root causes can help you and your adult offspring overcome FTL syndrome.
Many well-meaning parents try a variety of things—such as threats and lecturing—to prompt their adult children to move out, but in many cases, these efforts end up aggravating the problem. What can parents do?
In a 2016 study, Dr. Eli Lebowitz, who has been researching the phenomenon for years, suggested it would be better for parents to stop calling it a “failure to launch” and start thinking of it as an opportunity for growth, change, and development.
To spark that growth and break the cycle, follow this process.
Recognize that changing habits can be a difficult process and don’t expect major improvements immediately. Making small changes can lead to big results.
As a family, learn to kill the ANTs (automatic negative thoughts) that keep you and your adult child locked in this unhealthy pattern. Whenever you or your child feels mad, sad, or frustrated, write down your thought and ask yourself if it is true. Then talk back to the ANT to kill it.
Example:
ANT: My kid will never get a job.
Is this true? No, I can’t know that it will never happen.
Kill the ANT: My young adult child can learn the skills necessary to land a job and keep it.
When you adopt this kind of thinking, it helps you and your child feel empowered to do something about your situation rather than feeling stuck.
Don’t view this as your child’s fault. Admit if you are enabling the situation and look for ways to change your behavior. This helps you feel empowered to be part of the solution rather than a helpless victim.
Knowing their “why” can boost their motivation to set and achieve goals. One of the most effective ways to improve goal setting and motivation is an exercise called the One Page Miracle. On a sheet of paper have your young adult write down what they want out of life in terms of education, career, finances, social life, and family. Then before making any decisions, they should ask themselves, “Will this help me get what I want out of life?”
Write a contract that spells out what you will pay for, what services you will provide, and what is expected from your adult offspring, and have all parties sign it. Think of this as an agreement between adults, similar to a contract with a tenant. Making a signed commitment increases the chances of success.
In order to successfully follow through on these steps, everyone in the family needs to optimize their brain health. This includes treating any mental health issues or past head injuries and making simple lifestyle changes can also boost brain health, including eating a healthy diet, daily exercise to boost blood flow to the brain, practicing stress-management techniques, and taking nutraceuticals to support brain health.
At Amen Clinics, we take a unique brain-body approach to diagnosis and treatment that includes brain SPECT imaging, as well as laboratory testing to check physical health, and other important factors that could be contributing to symptoms. By getting to the root cause of symptoms, we can create a more effective, personalized treatment plan.
If you want to join the tens of thousands of people who have already enhanced their brain health, overcome their symptoms, and improved their quality of life at Amen Clinics, speak to a specialist today at 888-288-9834. If all our specialists are busy helping others, you can also schedule a time to talk.
Why do so many couples end up in marital therapy? It often starts with the reasons why people get married in the first place. On the psychiatrist’s couch, people tend to open up and reveal what really drove them to get hitched. And in many cases, their deep-down motivation to pair up wasn’t something that lays the foundation for a lasting union. It’s no wonder they end up having problems.
After more than 30 years of treating couples for marital conflict, the psychiatrists and psychotherapists at Amen Clinics have heard it all. Based on working with thousands of couples in crisis, here are 25 of the common—and worst—reasons why people get married that almost guarantee you’re going to run into trouble later on. Do any of them sound familiar to you?
Even if you walked down the aisle for the wrong reasons, there is still hope to save the marriage. Gaining a better understanding of each other, learning to stop blaming and start taking responsibility, changing dysfunctional behavior, improving communication skills, and developing shared goals are some of the benefits of couples therapy. In some cases, however, talking through problems isn’t enough.
Brain SPECT imaging studies of couples in therapy show that underlying brain health issues are often the root of dysfunctional relationships. And in many cases, it isn’t just one person who has brain health problems, it’s both people. When one or both partners have abnormal brain activity, damage from head trauma, or problems due to exposure to toxins, it can get in the way of making any progress in therapy.
Brain imaging can be so helpful in marital therapy for so many reasons, including:
Marital conflict, anxiety, depression, ADD/ADHD, and other mental health issues can’t wait. During these uncertain times, your mental well-being is more important than ever and waiting until life gets back to “normal” is likely to make your symptoms worsen over time.
At Amen Clinics, we’re here for you. We offer in-clinic brain scanning and appointments, as well as mental telehealth, remote clinical evaluations, and video therapy for adults, children, and couples. Find out more by speaking to a specialist today at 888-288-9834. If all our specialists are busy helping others, you can also schedule a time to talk.
Too many of us whine, moan, and complain about the hardships in our lives. And with everything 2020 has delivered so far, there are a lot of hardships to go around. You may be feeling that life is unfair or that you’ve been dealt a raw deal. Like many people these days, you may be wallowing in frustration, anxiety, anger, or depression.
The buildup of emotions due to the pandemic could be squashing your motivation and leading to creative destruction. It’s not uncommon for people to feel so overwhelmed by their emotions that they have trouble getting their work done let alone doing it creatively.
For others, the swirling emotions could be fueling a creative explosion. In fact, it is through our toughest trials that our greatest creative gifts tend to emerge. Take it from rapper Kid Cudi, who revealed in an interview with People magazine that “anxiety and depression ruled my life for as long as I could remember.” He says it took him a while to learn that “we can take our pain and turn it into something. I turn my pain into music.”
How can you be like Kid Cudi and turn your pain into passion that fuels your creativity rather than kills it?
Science shows that creativity is linked to emotions, and it appears that negative emotions may be behind some of the world’s greatest art. A 2008 study in Personality & Social Psychology Bulletin found that compared with social approval, social rejection was associated with greater artistic creativity.
A 2016 study used brain imaging in Scientific Reports to measure activity in the brains of jazz musicians as they created music. The researchers found that when the musicians were asked to play in a way that conveyed a positive emotion, it deactivated an area of the brain called the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex, an area involved in planning and monitoring behavior. This has been interpreted as a neural signature of being in a “flow state” or “in the zone.”
When the same musicians were asked to convey a negative emotion, the deactivation in the DLPFC wasn’t as pronounced. However, the negative emotions activated the reward centers of the brain, which are tied to drive and motivation. Negative emotions may make you more driven to create.
The act of engaging in a creative endeavor can enhance moods and emotions, according to research in the American Journal of Public Health. Because of this, it’s a good idea to find ways to channel your negative emotions in a creative way.
Don’t think you have to be “artsy” or “crafty” to get creative. Creativity crosses all domains—even mathematicians, business leaders, and neuroscientists need to innovate in creative ways. Here are some ways to turn your painful emotions into power through creativity.
ADD/ADHD, anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues can’t wait. During these uncertain times, your mental well-being is more important than ever and waiting until life gets back to “normal” is likely to make your symptoms worsen over time.
At Amen Clinics, we’re here for you. We offer in-clinic brain scanning and appointments, as well as mental telehealth, remote clinical evaluations, and video therapy for adults, children, and couples. Find out more by speaking to a specialist today at 888-288-9834. If all our specialists are busy helping others, you can also schedule a time to talk.
These days, it’s easy to get weighed down by all the pessimism and despair associated with the coronavirus pandemic, the lockdown, and the faltering economy. The human brain is hardwired for negativity, so we’re naturally on the alert for anything that could threaten our survival. Even in the darkest times, however, you can train your brain to actively seek out the positive as a way to balance that negativity bias and boost your mood.
Amen Clinics polled its employees and patients to find the little glimmers of hope and happiness that are lifting people up during these trying times.
Depression, anxiety, ADD/ADHD, and other mental health issues can’t wait. During these uncertain times, your mental well-being is more important than ever and waiting until life gets back to “normal” is likely to make your symptoms worsen over time.
At Amen Clinics, we’re here for you. We offer in-clinic brain scanning and appointments, as well as mental telehealth, remote clinical evaluations, and video therapy for adults, children, and couples. Find out more by speaking to a specialist today at 888-288-9834. If all our specialists are busy helping others, you can also schedule a time to talk.
When you think of OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder), what comes to your mind? Visions of someone cleaning furiously or washing their hands multiple times? That’s the image most people have regarding this condition, which affects about 1 in 40 adults and 1 in 200 children. But OCD isn’t just one thing. There are different types of OCD, and brain SPECT imaging reveals different patterns in the brain associated with those types.
OCD is a condition that is characterized by obsessions and compulsions. Obsessions are recurring thoughts, impulses, or mental images that are intrusive, usually senseless, sometimes frightening, and often repulsive. Compulsions involve repetitive behaviors that are performed in response to obsessions and the anxiety they cause.
These obsessions and compulsions can take on many forms, although most tend to fall into the following 5 types.
SPECT scans show that in most OCD types—contamination and cleaning, checking, symmetry and order, and forbidden thoughts—the brain’s frontal lobes are overactive. The scans light up so much, it’s like the brain is on fire.
Take Gail, for instance. Her SPECT study showed marked increased activity in her frontal lobes and an area called the anterior cingulate gyrus. This area is involved in shifting from one idea to another or from one action to another. When there is too much activity here, people like Gail tend to get “stuck” on thoughts and behaviors, even if they get no pleasure from them. Seeing this helped find the right treatment plan for Gail, who within 6 weeks, felt significantly more relaxed. Her ritualistic behavior diminished, and she stopped forcing her husband and children to wash their hands every time they turned around.
Other findings on SPECT scans in people with these types of OCD include heightened brain activity in a region called the basal ganglia. This area helps set the body’s anxiety level and plays a role in habit formation.
People who are hoarders sometimes have a different brain pattern. For example, Bill’s SPECT scans didn’t reveal the classic OCD patterns, but rather it showed that his brain was “sleepy,” or underactive in some areas involved in organization. This helped explain why he ended up with a car full of useless stuff that he felt powerless to discard.
Without looking at his brain scans, Bill might have been given medications for classic OCD, which likely would have exacerbated his condition. Seeing his brain patterns helped find the right treatment protocol for him. Over time, he was able to clean out his car without being overwhelmed by distressing thoughts, and he was finally able to keep things more organized at work, so he no longer piled important papers in his car.
OCD (regardless of which type you have), and other conditions like anxiety, ADD/ADHD, and depression can’t wait. During these uncertain times, your mental well-being is more important than ever, and waiting until life gets back to “normal” is likely to make your symptoms worsen over time.
At Amen Clinics, we’re here for you. We offer in-clinic brain scanning and appointments, as well as mental telehealth, remote clinical evaluations, and video therapy for adults, children, and couples. Find out more by speaking to a specialist today at 888-288-9834. If all our specialists are busy helping others, you can also schedule a time to talk.
So many couples end up in therapy looking for a way to save their relationship. If only they had asked themselves this one question before they got hitched, they might have known if they were compatible for life or doomed for the psychiatrist’s couch. What is this insightful question?
During the months and months of quarantine due to the pandemic, millions of couples are finding out whether or not they picked the right partner. With stay-at-home orders and business closures, you can’t escape each other by playing golf for 5 hours, going shopping, or hitting the local bar. Some couples are feeling blessed that they have a spouse who is loving, caring, and kind and whose company they enjoy. Others are discovering that spending more time together is shining a harsh light on major problems and fueling marital conflict.
Before getting married or getting engaged, you and your significant other should think about how well you would do being stuck together nearly 24/7 for months on end in a high-stress, high-anxiety situation. If you both think you’d like the other one by your side under these dire circumstances, then you can feel more confident that your union is built to last.
A good way to gauge if you and your partner are marriage material and if you could survive—and thrive—in challenging situations is to write out your relationship goals. This exercise is called the Marriage One Page Miracle, and it has proven to be very insightful in pre-marriage counseling and in marital therapy. Here’s why.
The simple act of sitting down together to talk about your future is an opportunity to connect on a deeper level and make sure you both want to head in the same direction. It also lets you identify possible challenges so you can address them rationally before it’s too late and they become a problem. It also cements the idea that you are a team and that your decisions should always benefit the team, not just one individual. Goal setting together also helps you encourage each other along the way and provides accountability.
Here’s how to create your Marriage One Page Miracle. Before you sit down together, take the time to think about your individual goals for the following areas of your future life together: marriage, kids and parenting, finances, health, and spirituality.
Once you’ve thought about your individual goals, make an appointment with your significant other to see where you mesh and where you have differences. If your goals are wildly different, take it as a red flag that you don’t want the same things out of life and that you may want to rethink a future together. But don’t expect to see eye-to-eye on everything either. Having some differences doesn’t mean your relationship can’t last.
Use this time to come up with a shared plan on how you will address any differences. If you’re able to communicate effectively and come up with solutions together, it’s a good sign that you’ll be able to deal with challenges that arise in the future. And remember, your marital plan isn’t set in stone. Re-visit it every year and update your goals.
Marital conflict, anxiety, depression, ADD/ADHD, addictions, and other mental health issues can’t wait. During these uncertain times, your mental well-being is more important than ever and waiting until life gets back to “normal” is likely to make your symptoms worsen over time.
At Amen Clinics, we’re here for you. We offer in-clinic brain scanning and appointments, as well as mental telehealth, remote clinical evaluations, and video therapy for adults, children, and couples. Find out more by speaking to a specialist today at 888-288-9834. If all our specialists are busy helping others, you can also schedule a time to talk.