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Is Your Child Struggling with Mental Health Issues?

Have you been working diligently to put proven parenting strategies into practice? Despite this, is your child is still misbehaving, creating conflict, lacking motivation, procrastinating, underperforming at school, having trouble making friends, or having other problems? If so, a mental health issue may be the culprit. When parenting strategies aren’t working, a childhood mental health issue may be the culprit.
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KIDS AND MENTAL HEALTH PROBLEMS

Mental health problems and learning disorders—all of which are actually brain health issues—are rising among the more than 73 million kids ages 0 to 17 in the US. Just look at these statistics: Although approximately half of all mental health issues show up by the mid-teens, most children aren’t diagnosed and don’t receive treatment until several years after symptoms first appear.

WHY PARENTS MISS MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES IN KIDS

This is not surprising because most parents aren’t experts in the differences between “normal” and “abnormal” behaviors, emotional health, or brain and mental wellness. Parents are usually only exposed to their own children, their nieces and nephews, and their kids’ friends. So, when a youngster seems consistently down in the dumps, constantly worries, or acts aggressively, it’s natural to assume it’s just your child’s nature or that they have an attitude problem. If you misread an underlying brain health problem or mental health issue as an attitude issue, your knee-jerk reaction may be to increase discipline and consequences, which may be harmful. Many kids who have brain/mental health problems are actually trying hard to do what Mom and Dad ask, but they just aren’t able to do it because of the way their brain is wired. If your child is consistently struggling at school, routinely having trouble getting along with others, or frequently losing their temper, take a moment and ask yourself, “Could this be a sign of something else?”

WHEN TO SEEK HELP FOR YOUR CHILD’S MENTAL HEALTH

If you have a feeling that your youngster or adolescent may have a behavioral, emotional, or learning issue, don’t wait. Bring up any concerns with your child’s pediatrician or other healthcare provider. Small issues that remain untreated can morph into big problems. On the flip side, early intervention can put a halt to unwanted issues and can improve your child’s future. In some cases, simple lifestyle changes or nutritional supplements may be all they need. If you’re noticing problematic behaviors or emotional issues, it’s important to get your child on a brain-healthy program sooner rather than later. When these issues remain untreated, they can have lifelong consequences that make parenting exponentially more difficult. In the short term, these issues are associated with increased family discord, academic underachievement, and more. Over time and into adulthood, they are linked with increased risks of school dropouts, traffic accidents, substance abuse, job failure and unemployment, financial problems, obesity, divorce, and suicidal thoughts and behaviors. After working with thousands of children, we can assure you that seeking treatment for brain/mental health and learning problems is not a sign of weakness; it is a sign of strength and love for your child.

COMMON CHILDHOOD MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES IN KIDS

Some of the more common mental health issues seen in children include:

RAISING MENTALLY STRONG KIDS

You will find the warning signs associated with these common childhood mental disorders, as well as natural solutions, in the book Raising Mentally Strong Kids. In the book, Raising Mentally Strong Kids, brain and mental health expert Dr. Daniel Amen and child psychologist Dr. Charles Fay have teamed up to reveal what’s missing from most parenting books. It’s the fact that you need to address both the brain and the mind of your child (and yourself) in order to be an effective parent and raise competent humans. In this groundbreaking, science-backed book where neuroscience meets practical psychology, parents are given proven tools to help children of all ages go from defiance, meltdowns, and power struggles to being responsible, resilient, and confident. Order your copy now and put your child on the path to a brighter future. If you want to join the tens of thousands of parents and children who have already learned how to be mentally stronger at Amen Clinics, speak to a specialist today at 888-288-9834 or visit our contact page here.   Having can negatively impact your life in many ways. Most people are familiar with the neurodevelopmental disorder’s trademark short attention span, distractibility, impulsivity, disorganization, and procrastination. What many people don’t realize is that having ADD/ADHD also puts you at increased risk for substance use disorders, such as alcoholism or drug abuse. In fact, as many as half of all adolescents and adults with substance use disorders have been diagnosed with ADD/ADHD at some point during their lives, according to research. As many as half of all adolescents and adults with substance use disorders have been diagnosed with ADD/ADHD at some point during their lives.
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What’s the link between ADD/ADHD and addictions? And what can you do to reduce your risk of alcohol abuse, nicotine use, or drug dependence?

THE DISTURBING STATISTICS ABOUT ADHD AND ADDICTIONS

Decades of research show that individuals with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), also called attention-deficit disorder (ADD), are more likely to develop substance use disorders than those without the mental health disorder. For example, adults with ADD/ADHD are about three times more likely to struggle with a substance use disorder (SUD) than their peers. Similarly, compared to kids who don’t have ADD/ADHD, children with the condition are two to three times more likely to abuse substances, according to a study in Clinical Psychology Review. In particular, research shows that children with ADD/ADHD are: The fact that nearly 10% of school-age children have received a medical diagnosis of ADD/ADHD raises a red flag on the issue.

ADHD AND THE BRAIN

ADD/ADHD is a brain-based disorder. The brain-imaging work using SPECT at Amen Clinics shows that the brain functions differently in people with this condition. Specifically, SPECT scans show abnormal activity in a part of the brain called the prefrontal cortex (PFC). This brain region is responsible for executive functions, such as planning, judgment, forethought, impulse control, and follow-through. In the healthy brain, concentration stimulates activity in the PFC. Not so in the ADD/ADHD brain. In people with this disorder, there’s a reduction in activity in the PFC when they try to concentrate. Effectively, this makes it harder for them to pay attention. The decreased activity in the PFC also helps explain the symptoms associated with the disorder. Brain imaging shows that having ADD/ADHD symptoms is not due to a lack of willpower or failing to try hard enough. Rather it’s related to the way the brain functions.

ADHD AND THE BRAIN’S SELF-CONTROL CIRCUIT

ADD/ADHD is also associated with other brain functions, such as the self-control circuit. This circuit involves the brain systems that drive you to seek out things that bring you pleasure and the prefrontal cortex (PFC), which puts on the brakes when you are about to engage in risky behavior. In a healthy self-control circuit, an effective PFC provides impulse control and good judgment while the deep limbic system offers an adequate dose of motivation so you can plan and follow through on your goals. You can say no to alcohol, marijuana, cocaine, cigarettes, and other substances. When activity in the PFC is decreased, the drive circuits take control and cause you to lose control over your behavior. When this is the case, you’re more likely to fall victim to your cravings. Having low activity often results in a tendency for impulse-control problems and poor internal supervision. These contribute to the increased risk of addiction.

SELF-MEDICATION AND THE ADHD BRAIN

Many people with ADD/ADHD self-medicate with substances in order to feel better—more focused, less anxious, less depressed, or less overwhelmed. Because the PFC is underactive in the ADD/ADHD brain, it can lead people to use substances as a way to stimulate brain activity. And those with hyperactivity may turn to other substances to calm down. Although these individuals abuse substances as a way to treat their underlying problems, it is bad medicine. Over time, substance abuse often exacerbates ADD/ADHD symptoms. The brain-imaging work at Amen Clinics clearly shows that substance abuse is harmful to brain function. Alcohol, marijuana, nicotine, cocaine, methamphetamines, and even caffeine reduce brain activity over time. In some cases, the reduction in brain activity can be significant. This means that when a teen with ADD/ADHD drinks alcohol to calm internal feelings of restlessness, it soothes them but only temporarily. At the same time, it damages cellular activity, which can lead to a worsening of symptoms in the long run. One study out of UCLA found that cocaine addicts had 23% less overall brain activity compared to individuals who had never taken drugs. In this study, the people addicted to cocaine who also smoked cigarettes had 45% less activity in their brain. Based on the clinical experience at Amen Clinics, people tend to use different substances based on which type of ADD/ADHD they have. The SPECT scans at Amen Clinics have helped identify 7 types of ADD/ADHD. People with Classic or Inattentive ADD/ADHD tend to use stimulants, such as cocaine or methamphetamine. Individuals with Overfocused ADD/ADHD are more likely to abuse alcohol. Having Temporal Lobe or Limbic ADD/ADHD makes people more inclined to use marijuana or stimulants. People with Anxious or Ring of Fire ADD/ADHD tend to abuse alcohol and marijuana.

ADHD STIMULANT TREATMENT AND ADDICTION

Substance abuse often complicates the treatment of ADD/ADHD. As mentioned earlier, as many as 50% of adolescents and adults with ADD/ADHD also have substance abuse issues. Some people fear that stimulant medications may be a gateway drug to other substances. However, research has found that this is not the case. In fact, a 2016 study found that people who are taking prescription stimulants for ADD/ADHD are 7.3% less likely to develop a substance use disorder. However, many health care providers feel uncomfortable prescribing stimulant medications such as Ritalin or Adderall to people who have a substance use disorder. Physicians have to be very careful when this is the case. If you have an active addiction, you may need to wait until you’re enrolled in an addiction treatment program before a physician will prescribe stimulant medication for ADHD. After showing a sustained commitment to sobriety, you may be prescribed ADD/ADHD stimulants. Be aware that you will likely need to be monitored frequently. If you have ADD/ADHD, several lifestyle changes can also help prevent substance abuse. A healthy diet, daily exercise, and meditation are all natural ways to boost activity in the PFC to help you regain control. ADD/ADHD, addictions, and other mental health issues can’t wait. At Amen Clinics, we’re here for you. We offer in-clinic brain scanning and appointments, as well as mental telehealth, clinical evaluations, and therapy for adults, teens, children, and couples. Find out more by speaking to a specialist today at 888-288-9834 or visit our contact page here

5 Tips for Reaching the Underachieving Child

Excerpted from Raising Mentally Strong Kids, by Daniel Amen, MD, and Charles Fay, PhD Underachievement is one of the most complex challenges facing children, parents, and schools, and it can have devastating effects on a young person’s sense of self-worth and mental strength. Too often, parents start with the assumption that the child is simply being lazy. Then these well-meaning adults often resort to practices that make the problem worse. Here’s an overview of methods that seem like they should work but that tend to backfire. Plus, you’ll find 5 proven tips for reaching the underachieving child to boost their confidence, motivation, and performance. Underachievement is one of the most complex challenges facing children, parents, and schools, and it can have devastating effects on a young person’s sense of self-worth and mental strength.
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WORST WAYS TO MOTIVATE UNDERACHIEVING KIDS

 Some of the most common but wrong ways to try to motivate underachieving children include: Those approaches look like they should work, and decades of parents and teachers have used them. In fact, those tactics may yield some positive short-term results. In the long run, though, they make underachievement worse by creating: Those practices also lower feelings of self-competence, especially with kids who are dealing with problems related to learning, family and peer relationships, mental health, and other deeper issues. As perceptions of self-competence diminish, so does motivation and social and emotional health. Here are 5 better ways to motivate underachievers.

5 TIPS FOR RAISING AN ACADEMICALLY SECURE AND MOTIVATED CHILD

Tip #1: End the control battle.

As soon as a control battle begins, anxiety increases and academic motivation decreases. As soon as power struggles start, the bond we have with our kids weakens. Control battles can damage many aspects of our children’s development. 

Tip #2: Transition responsibility for learning to your child.

Whose learning are we talking about? Is it yours or your child’s? Obviously, you can’t do school for your kids. While true, this doesn’t stop many parents from taking way more ownership in their kids’ learning than their kids do.

Tip #3: Respond with empathy and reasonable, logical consequences.

Anger shuts the door on learning. Empathy opens the door to learning. Anger implies that the problem is ours. Empathy allows it to remain our child’s. Empathy, in and of itself, assists in meeting most of the needs for love and belonging. It calms anxiety, and it helps us communicate that we understand our child’s feelings.

Tip #4: Follow some guidelines for helping with homework.

Successful parents care about their children’s homework, and they follow some basic guidelines for helping in productive ways:

Tip #5: Look for underlying causes of underachievement.

If you’ve tried these strategies but still aren’t seeing increased motivation or achievement in your child, don’t beat yourself up and don’t get angry with them. Be curious, not furious. Investigate what might be causing the problem. A biological condition, brain health issue, or mental health problem may be at play.

RAISING MENTALLY STRONG KIDS

You will find several more strategies to reach underachieving children in the book Raising Mentally Strong Kids. In the book, Raising Mentally Strong Kids, Dr. Daniel Amen, a brain and mental health expert, and Dr. Charles Fay, a child psychiatrist and the founder of Love and Logic have teamed up to reveal what’s missing from most parenting books. It’s the fact that you need to address both the brain and the mind of your child (and yourself) in order to be an effective parent and raise competent humans. In this groundbreaking, science-backed book where neuroscience meets practical psychology, parents are given proven tools to help children of all ages go from defiance, meltdowns, and power struggles to being responsible, resilient, and confident. Order your copy now and put your child on the path to a brighter future. If you want to join the tens of thousands of parents and children who have already learned how to be mentally stronger at Amen Clinics, speak to a specialist today at 888-288-9834 or visit our contact page here.  

To Be Mentally Strong, Children Need a Healthy Brain

Excerpted from Raising Mentally Strong Kids, by Daniel Amen, MD, and Charles Fay, PhD If you want your child to be mentally strong, it starts with helping them have a healthy brain. And brain health is important for you too, because parenting requires mental strength. Brains run schools, families, friendships, businesses, churches—and you. Yet most people rarely think about their brains, least of all their children’s brains. Yet mental strength starts with a healthy brain. If you want your child to be mentally strong, it starts with helping them have a healthy brain.
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WHY YOUR CHILD’S BRAIN HEALTH IS THE KEY TO MENTAL STRENGTH

It’s so important to know about the brain, love it, and maybe even become a bit obsessed with it—especially for your kids’ sake. And it’s equally critical to teach your children at an early age to love and care for their own brains. It will make parenting so much easier while setting them up for the mental fortitude that will help them succeed in every area of life! And remember, although it’s better to start early, it’s never too late to teach your child, adolescent, or young adult about brain health.

BRAIN BASICS FOR CHILDREN

Let’s take a deeper look at the supercomputer inside your head. The human brain typically weighs about 3 pounds and is the consistency of soft butter, tofu, or custard, and it is housed in a hard skull that has sharp bony ridges. It’s no surprise that the brain can be damaged from repeatedly heading soccer balls or from being pounded by helmet-to-helmet tackles in football! The brain is a symphony of parts that work together to create and sustain a life. It is the organ responsible for learning, loving, creating, and behaving. And it is the most complex and amazing organ in the universe.

3 BRAIN PRINCIPLES FOR KIDS AND PARENTS

To help you and your child develop strong brains, here are some key principles you need to know.

  1. Develop a love affair with your brain.

You need to love the 3-pound mass between your ears because your brain controls how you think, act, feel, and manage those difficult situations that leave you wanting to lecture, threaten, scream, or use some other ineffective parenting strategy. Obviously, the brain helps you remain thoughtful rather than reactive, one of the hallmarks of great parenting. When you fall in love with your brain, you start taking better care of it. You feed it, exercise it, and rest it. Your brain also helps you consistently demonstrate firmness and kindness. Decades of research shows this combination of firmness and kindness to be one of the primary factors differentiating successful from unsuccessful parents.

  1. Teach your child to love and protect their brain.

 As you may already know, modeling is one of the most powerful ways of teaching your kids. As they see you falling head over heels in love with your brain, this will help them want a similar love affair. They will be responsive to learning that the brain is soft; the skull is hard and has multiple sharp ridges. When the head experiences any form of impact, the brain ricochets inside this hard and sharp casing. In brain scans, I have seen children as young as 8 suffering from serious head injuries from playing football for only one season. You read that right: brain damage at 8 years old! In fact, I recently worked with a patient who had been an all-American soccer player in high school and college. Even though she never had a concussion, her brain was not healthy—and hadn’t been for years. The brain trauma she endured and never knew about made every aspect of her life as a parent, a wife, an employee, and a friend harder.

  1. Educate your child about how to care for their brain.

It’s not hard. I started teaching my daughter Chloe when she was 2 years old how to make choices to care for her brain. Show by example how to avoid anything that hurts the brain, such as: In addition, show them how to do things that help the brain, such as:

RAISING MENTALLY STRONG KIDS

You will find several more helpful brain principles for parents and children in the book Raising Mentally Strong Kids. In the book, Raising Mentally Strong Kids, brain and mental health expert Dr. Daniel Amen and child psychologist Dr. Charles Fay have teamed up to reveal what’s missing from most parenting books. It’s the fact that you need to address both the brain and the mind of your child (and yourself) in order to be an effective parent and raise competent humans. In this groundbreaking, science-backed book where neuroscience meets practical psychology, parents are given proven tools to help children of all ages go from defiance, meltdowns, and power struggles to being responsible, resilient, and confident. Order your copy now and put your child on the path to a brighter future. If you want to join the tens of thousands of parents and children who have already learned how to be mentally stronger at Amen Clinics, speak to a specialist today at 888-288-9834 or visit our contact page here.  

Is Your Parenting Style Making Kids Mentally Strong or Weak?

Excerpted from Raising Mentally Strong Kids, by Daniel Amen, MD, and Charles Fay, PhD Do you love your children and want to be an involved parent? Of course, you do! That’s why you’re reading this blog. But not all parents are alike. Some parenting styles make it harder to achieve the goals you have for yourself and your child—contributing to lack of motivation, neediness, feelings of entitlement, or feelings of anxiety. Other parenting styles facilitate the process of raising young people who are competent, and even better, allow us to enjoy our kids more in the present moment. If you want to get on the fast track to fun times and a brighter future, you need to take an honest look at yourself. You may unknowingly be making parenting harder than it needs to be. Some parenting styles make it harder to achieve the goals you have for yourself and your child—contributing to lack of motivation, neediness, feelings of entitlement, or feelings of anxiety. Others facilitate the process.
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WHAT’S YOUR PARENTING STYLE?

You likely fall into one of four main parenting styles. Before we dive into the four styles, understand that your parenting style usually comes from several factors, including: You may feel comfortable with your current style, or perhaps it isn’t working well enough for you. The good news is, you can fine-tune your style to be a more effective parent, so you can raise resilient, responsible, respectful kids. Decades of research beginning with the work of clinical and developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind in the 1960s show that parenting styles can be viewed along two lines: from loving to hostile and from firm to permissive. Jim Fay and Foster Cline, MD, describe three styles: We also include a fourth style:

WHAT IS THE HELICOPTER PARENTING STYLE?

What is a helicopter parent? The helicopter parenting style describes those parents who are loving and permissive. They often seem sweet and kind to their children and give them anything they want. They are reluctant to challenge or frustrate their children. Sounds reasonable, doesn’t it? Protect your children. Make life as easy and smooth as possible. The problem occurs when permissive parenting means they give in to their child’s every whim. Their overall goal is to create a perfect world for their kids.

SIGNS AND CONSEQUENCES OF HELICOPTER PARENTING

WHAT IS DRILL SERGEANT PARENTING?

A Drill Sergeant parent is hostile and firm. Drill Sergeant parents value the role of authority and rules and tend to be rigid and inflexible. Parents who use this style with kids create major heartache. They were either raised this way themselves or feel like it’s the best way to raise responsible and respectful children. The brain-imaging work at Amen Clinics shows that people with the Drill Sergeant parenting style may have overactivity in an area of the brain called the anterior cingulate gyrus (ACG). This can cause people to get stuck on worries or behaviors that aren’t helpful. People with this authoritarian parenting style also have a tendency to be argumentative and oppositional. SIGNS AND CONSEQUENCES OF DRILL SERGEANT PARENTING

WHAT IS UNINVOLVED PARENTING?

Uninvolved parents are hostile and permissive. To put it simply, these are the parents who do not care. They are usually overwhelmed in their own lives—they may have had a head injury, drank too much, or experienced trauma—all of which can negatively impact brain function. Considering that you are reading this blog, it’s clear that you don’t likely fit into the Uninvolved parenting style, so we won’t delve deeply into this parenting style.  WHAT IS CONSULTANT PARENTING? Welcome to the wonderful world of the firm and loving Consultant parent! Helicopter parents and Drill Sergeant parents expend so much effort that ends up leading to burnout and harmful results. The Consultant parenting style requires less effort but makes it so much easier to reach the goals you have for yourself and your child. It also smooths your child’s transition to being a competent and confident adult. In addition, it lets you all have a lot more fun along the journey. 

SIGNS AND BENEFITS OF CONSULTANT PARENTING

RAISING MENTALLY STRONG KIDS

You will find much more about parenting styles and how they affect your child in the book Raising Mentally Strong Kids. In the book, Raising Mentally Strong Kids, brain and mental health expert Dr. Daniel Amen and child psychologist Dr. Charles Fay have teamed up to reveal what’s missing from most parenting books. It’s the fact that you need to address both the brain and the mind of your child (and yourself) in order to be an effective parent and raise competent humans. In this groundbreaking, science-backed book where neuroscience meets practical psychology, parents are given proven tools to help children of all ages go from defiance, meltdowns, and power struggles to being responsible, resilient, and confident. Order your copy now and put your child on the path to a brighter future. If you want to join the tens of thousands of parents and children who have already learned how to be mentally stronger at Amen Clinics, speak to a specialist today at 888-288-9834 or visit our contact page here.  

33 Best Tips for Raising Mentally Strong Kids

Excerpted from Raising Mentally Strong Kids, by Daniel Amen, MD, and Charles Fay, PhD Here are some of the best parenting techniques to increase your effectiveness. They will also help build what we call the Four Circles of Mental Strength, so your kids will have the foundation they need to achieve their potential. We have gathered these “best things you can do for your child” over decades of working with both “difficult” and “not-so-difficult” children, teenagers, and young adults—and their parents. We don’t expect you to follow all of the parenting strategies listed. Choose the ones that are the most appropriate for your situation. Simple Parenting Tip: Remember what it is like to be a child (the good and the bad). Remember how you felt when you were their age. This will help you relate to their worries and concerns with empathy.
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REMEMBER WHAT IT IS LIKE TO BE A CHILD

  1. Remember what it is like to be a child (the good and the bad). Remember how you felt when you were their age. This will help you relate to their worries and concerns with empathy.
  2. Remember how it felt when your mom or dad were too busy for you.
  3. Remember what it felt like to tell a lie and how you wish your parents would have reacted when they found out.
  4. Remember how you felt when your parents fought with each other (do you fight in the same way with your spouse or the child’s other parent?).
  5. Remember how it felt when your mom or dad took you someplace special.
  6. Remember mealtimes when you were a child. Were they a positive experience (and why), or were they a negative experience (and why)?
  7. Remember how you felt at bedtime.
  8. Remember the first time you asked someone out on a date, or were asked out, and the intense anxiety and excitement that goes along with dating.
  9. Remember your sexual feelings and experiences as a child and teenager.
  10. Remember the worst teachers you had, so that you can relate to your kids when they complain about school.
  11. Remember the best teachers you had, so that you can tell your children how good school can be. 

DEVELOP CLEAR GOALS FOR YOURSELF AS A PARENT

  1. Develop clear, written goals for raising your children and spell out the kind of person you’d like them to become. Look at your goals every day to see if your behavior is encouraging what you want. In all of your interactions with your children, ask yourself if your actions encourage the behaviors you want.
  2. Be involved with your child. Ensure you spend enough time with them so that you can influence their direction.
  3. Be open with your child. Talk with them in such a way—active listening and empathy—that will help them talk to you when they need to.
  4. Be firm and set limits. Provide appropriate supervision and limits until they develop their own moral/internal controls.
  5. Be a good co-parent. Whether married or divorced, it is best when parents support each other in their interactions with a child.
  6. Be kind. Raise your children in such a way that they will want to come and see you after they leave home. Being a parent is also a selfish job.
  7. Be fun. Joke, clown, and play with your kids. Having fun is essential to both physical and emotional health. 

DEVELOP CLEAR GOALS FOR YOUR CHILD

  1. Be relational. We live in a relational world. It is imperative to teach your children how to get along with others.
  2. Be responsible. Children need to believe and act as if they have some shared control over their own life—that when bad things happen it is not always someone else’s fault. Otherwise, they will act like a victim and have no personal power.
  3. Be independent. Allow your child to have some choices (shared control) over their own life. This will enable the child to be able to make good decisions on their own.
  4. Be self-confident. Encourage your child to be involved with different activities where they can feel a sense of competence. Self-confidence often comes from the ability to master tasks, sports, and activities.
  5. Be self-accepting. Notice more positive than negative in your child. This will enable them to accept themselves.
  6. Be adaptable. Expose your child to different situations so they will be flexible enough to deal with the various stresses that will come.
  7. Be emotionally healthy. Allow your child the ability to express themselves in an accepting environment. Seek help for your child if they show prolonged symptoms of emotional trouble.
  8. Be fun. Teach your child how to have fun and how to laugh.
  9. Be focused. Help your child develop clear goals for themselves (both short-term and long-term goals).  

AUTHORITY IS ESSENTIAL

  1. Authority is essential to maintaining order and structure in a family. The sixties generation lost the concept that authority is a good thing.
  2. Being firm with your child is not the same as being mean.
  3. Your child will respect you more if you believe you are supposed to be the authority in the relationship.
  4. Establishing authority (in a kind way) with a child enhances creativity. They know the boundaries and do not have to test them continually, leaving energy for more productive activities.
  5. Establishing authority (in a kind way) with a child will help them deal with authority as an adult.
  6. Mean what you say. Don’t allow guilt to cause you to back down on what you know is right.

RAISING MENTALLY STRONG KIDS

 You will find 97 more of the best things you can do as a parent in the book Raising Mentally Strong Kids. In the book, Raising Mentally Strong Kids, brain and mental health expert Dr. Daniel Amen and child psychologist Dr. Charles Fay have teamed up to reveal what’s missing from most parenting books. It’s the fact that you need to address both the brain and the mind of your child (and yourself) in order to be an effective parent and raise competent humans. In this groundbreaking, science-backed book where neuroscience meets practical psychology, parents are given proven tools to help children of all ages go from defiance, meltdowns, and power struggles to being responsible, resilient, and confident. Order your copy now and put your child on the path to a brighter future. If you want to join the tens of thousands of parents and children who have already learned how to be mentally stronger at Amen Clinics, speak to a specialist today at 888-288-9834 or visit our contact page here.  

11 Things the Parents of Mentally Strong Kids NEVER Do

Excerpted from Raising Mentally Strong Kids, by Daniel Amen, MD, and Charles Fay, PhD We understand how deeply you care for your child and your desire for them to lead a fulfilling, joyful, and healthy life. It’s important to reflect on our actions as parents, as they can significantly shape our children’s mental strength. After years of working closely with parents and children, we’ve identified some key behaviors that are typically avoided by parents who raise mentally strong kids. We share this with the utmost respect and hope it guides you in your beautiful journey of parenting. We understand how deeply you care for your child and your desire for them to lead a fulfilling, joyful, and healthy life. It's important to reflect on our actions as parents, as they can significantly shape our children's mental strength.
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11 BIGGEST PARENTING MISTAKES

  1. Ignore your child’s brain health.

When you don’t think about brain health, you set your child up for all sorts of potential problems at home, in school, and in relationships. Instead, you must love and care for their brain, which controls everything your child does—how they think, feel, act, and get along with other people. When their brain works right, they work right. When their brain is troubled, they are going to have trouble. As you and your child are making decisions about any sports they may be involved in, remember to protect their brain if you want them to be happy, healthy, and mentally strong for the rest of their life. 

  1. Setting a poor example.

If your motto is “Do as I say, not as I do,” you are setting yourself up for trouble. If you lie, cheat, are rude or disrespectful, eat an unhealthy diet, and never address your own health, your child is going to follow your example. So, model how you want your child to be.

  1. Forget what it is like to be a child or teen.

If you can’t empathize with your child, you may alienate them, make them feel like they aren’t being understood, or send a message that their feelings aren’t valid. Remembering what it was like for you when you were your child’s age and all the challenges and struggles you had will give you much more empathy for your child. You’ll end up being more helpful to them than if you approach their life from an adult perspective.

  1. Be overly permissive.

Multiple studies have demonstrated that the children who grow up to have the most psychological problems had permissive parents who never set appropriate boundaries.

  1. Diminish the other parent.

While it can be tempting, it is crucial that you not criticize, put down, or complain about your child’s other parent to your child. This not only undermines the effectiveness of the other parent, but it also decreases your child’s self-esteem. Your child is a product of both parents, and by saying negative things about the other parent, you are really saying negative things about your child as well.

  1. Rarely spend quality time with them.

Relationships require two things: time and a willingness to listen. If you don’t spend time with them or you have a poor relationship, they are likely to develop resentment and rebel against you. If you spend quality time and have a good relationship with your child (essential for bonding), they tend to choose and emulate your morals and values. Doing things that your child enjoys and listening to them will make a huge difference in the quality of your relationship.

  1. Be a poor listener.

When you are disagreeing with your child and they are talking, do you interrupt them? Are you focusing on understanding what they are saying, or are you thinking of how you are going to respond to them? Being a bad listener sends the message that your child isn’t important enough to merit your attention. And this can have devastating effects on their self-esteem. Learn active listening. Don’t judge or criticize what they are saying, rather repeat back what you hear. Ultimately, your child can solve a lot of their own problems.

  1. Only notice what they do wrong.

Noticing all the little mistakes your child makes infuses them with a negative mind-set and self-view. This can carry over into adulthood and hold them back from reaching their potential. In addition, if the only time you notice them is when they are doing something wrong, you are teaching them that doing something bad is the best way to get any attention from you. Instead, do whatever you can to catch them doing things right as often as possible. By doing that, you will reinforce their good behavior and good choices.

  1. Disregard normal behavior.

When you don’t understand normal childhood development or behavioral health, you are likely to expect more from your child, adolescent, or teen than they are ready to handle. This leads to friction, frustration, and a sense of failure. When you have a basic grasp of development, you are better able to notice when something is inside or outside of the scope of normal. For example, it is normal for teenagers to want to become more independent and to begin to make their own decisions. Knowing that is a normal part of development makes it easier for you to honor and respect it while still supervising it.

  1. Tell your child they are smart.

If you do this and they end up failing to learn something (which they likely will at some point in their lives), then they will tell themselves that they really aren’t smart and will become more likely to give up. Instead, point out how hard they work. That way, when something in their life is hard, they will persevere and work harder because their self-esteem comes from hard work, not smarts.

  1. Ignore their mental health issues.

Mental health issues, such as ADHD, anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), and more can have a devastating impact on your child’s life. These types of problems can rob them of their mental strength, happiness, self-esteem, motivation, and focus. As their parent, pay attention and take them for an evaluation if you have any concerns.

RAISING MENTALLY STRONG KIDS 

You will find several more things the parents of mentally strong kids never do in the book Raising Mentally Strong Kids. In the book, Raising Mentally Strong Kids, brain and mental health expert Dr. Daniel Amen and child psychologist Dr. Charles Fay have teamed up to reveal what’s missing from most parenting books. It’s the fact that you need to address both the brain and the mind of your child (and yourself) in order to be an effective parent and raise competent humans. In this groundbreaking, science-backed book where neuroscience meets practical psychology, parents are given proven tools to help children of all ages go from defiance, meltdowns, and power struggles to being responsible, resilient, and confident. Order your copy now and put your child on the path to a brighter future. If you want to join the tens of thousands of parents and children who have already learned how to be mentally stronger at Amen Clinics, speak to a specialist today at 888-288-9834 or visit our contact page here.       Content updated from previous publish date. Do you have one of the estimated 1 in 36 children in the U.S. who are diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder (ASD)? If you’re the parent of a child with ASD, you know that an autism diagnosis is life-changing for your child, for you, and for your entire family. Autism is associated with deficits in social skills, communication, and the ability to form and maintain friendships. Kids with autism may have rigid thinking, may be hypersensitive to sensory stimuli, and may have limited interests. This can change the family dynamic and create unexpected challenges for parents and siblings. This blog will help you understand the latest science on what causes autism and how can you manage it. If you’re the parent of a child with ASD, you know that an autism diagnosis is life-changing for your child, for you, and for your entire family.
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WHAT IS AUTISM SPECTRUM DISORDER?

ASD is a neurodevelopmental disorder that affects a person’s behaviors and ability to communicate, learn, and relate to others. Autism is not one single thing; it has many faces. Just look at a classroom full of autistic children, and you will see that they are not all alike. In about one-third of kids with autism, it is common to experience normal development in the first year of life and then to regress in the second year of life.

WHAT CAUSES AUTISM SPECTRUM DISORDER?

Scientists have yet to pinpoint a specific cause for autism, however, they have discovered numerous contributing factors. The scientific community continues to search for causes of autism and may find additional contributing factors in the future.

THE CONNECTION BETWEEN FOOD AND AUTISM SYMPTOMS

Food can play a critical role in the severity of autism symptoms. Processed foods that are full of preservatives, pesticides, artificial colors and flavorings, and other chemicals may contribute to autism and can exacerbate ASD symptoms, according to a 2019 study. Foods that lack fiber promote the overgrowth of destructive bacteria, which may influence behavior. On the other hand, emerging research shows that consuming organic foods that are high in fiber and healthy fats may help. Some foods can make autism worse. For example, many children with autism may have a sensitivity to gluten and dairy, which can trigger immune responses associated with autoimmune disorders. Removing dairy and wheat products from the diet can significantly reduce GI problems and other symptoms.

IMPROVING SOCIAL SKILLS IN AUTISM

Children with ASD have difficulty with social skills, and as a result, they are more likely to be bullied in school. They tend to be sensitive to scents, noise, bright lights, and powerful emotions. To help manage these issues, follow these tips:

IMPROVING QUALITY OF LIFE IN AUTISTIC CHILDREN

Remember that managing autism symptoms is a daily practice that requires consistent effort. By following these strategies on a regular basis, you may be able to help your autistic child experience significant improvements in their everyday life. Autism, ADD/ADHD, and other brain-based mental health issues can’t wait. At Amen Clinics, we’re here for you. We offer in-clinic brain scanning and appointments, as well as mental telehealth, clinical evaluations, and therapy for adults, teens, children, and couples. Find out more by speaking to a specialist today at 888-288-9834 or visit our contact page here. Content updated from previous publish date. “I’m so stupid.” “I’m always messing things up.” “No one will ever love me.” Does this sound like your inner critic? We all have a little voice in our head that whispers—or screams—to us throughout the day. Sometimes, our inner thoughts help us make better decisions so we can keep on track toward our goals. Other times, however, our inner critic kicks into overdrive and spews automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) that are toxic. Negativity is common, but it is especially prevalent in people with mental health issues. This negative self-talk can dampen our moods, ignite stress and anxiety, and hold us back from achieving our dreams. If you’re riddled with ANTs, you can learn to fight back. Here are some of the most common types of negative thoughts, how they damage your mindset, and a simple 5-step technique to eliminate negative thinking patterns. Negative self-talk can dampen our moods, ignite stress and anxiety, and hold us back from achieving our dreams.
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BRAIN-BASED MENTAL HEALTH DISORDERS THAT INCREASE NEGATIVE SELF-TALK

Negative self-talk is strongly linked to mental health issues, such as ADD/ADHD, depression, anxiety, and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), among others. The brain SPECT imaging work at Amen Clinics shows that these psychiatric conditions are really brain health issues that can fuel negativity. Here’s a deeper look at the connection between negative thinking, brain health, and mental health. These individuals also often have to endure harsh critiques from others who don’t understand that ADD/ADHD brains work differently. The brain SPECT imaging work at Amen Clinics shows that low activity in the prefrontal cortex is common in people with ADD/ADHD. This region is involved with focus, attention, impulse control, and follow-through, and when activity is too low, it is associated with trouble in these areas, which can lead to negative thoughts about oneself. SPECT scans at Amen Clinics show that the emotional centers of the brain—called the limbic system—are often overactive in people with depression. This heightened activity is associated with increased negativity. On SPECT scans, anxiousness is associated with overactivity in the basal ganglia, important structures deep in the brain. They are involved in setting the body’s anxiety level, and when activity is too high it increases anxious and stressful thoughts. Brain SPECT imaging shows that too much activity in an area of the brain called the anterior cingulate gyrus is common in people with OCD. This is associated with rigid thinking and cognitive inflexibility, both of which keep people locked into their negative thinking patterns.

WHAT ARE THE CONSEQUENCES OF NEGATIVE SELF-TALK?

Negative self-talk impacts us in numerous harmful ways, and it all starts in the brain. Your brain is always listening and reacting to every single one of your thoughts. Your thoughts are based on numerous factors, such as sensory input, past experiences, the foods you eat, gut bacteria, and your brain health. When you have a happy thought, it triggers your brain to release chemicals that affect all of the cells within your body, making you feel good.  When you have a negative thought, however, your brain releases chemicals that make you feel bad. Having a few negative thoughts once in a while is normal, but when your thought patterns are predominantly negative, it can have long-term impacts. Rumination and self-blame are associated with increased risk for mental health conditions, according to a study in Plos One. Negativity, worries, and stressful thoughts can also exacerbate existing psychiatric issues. And they can even lead to cognitive problems and memory loss. For example, brain-imaging research in Alzheimer’s & Dementia shows that repetitive negative thinking may be involved in the accumulation of damaging brain deposits typically found in individuals with Alzheimer’s disease and may heighten the odds of developing dementia.

9 COMMON TYPES OF NEGATIVE SELF-TALK

There are many forms of negative self-talk. Some of the most common types of gloomy, pessimistic, defeatist, and unhelpful phrases we tell ourselves include the following:
  1. All-or-Nothing: When you tell yourself that people, situations, or relationships are either all good or all bad
  2. Less-Than: When you compare yourself to others and think that you aren’t as good as others
  3. Just-the-Bad: When you only see the bad in situations, people, or relationships
  4. Guilt-Beating: When you talk to yourself using words like should, must, ought, or have to
  5. Labeling: When you attach negative labels to yourself or someone
  6. Fortune-Telling: When you predict the worst possible outcome for a situation with little or no evidence for it
  7. Mind-Reading: When you believe you know what other people are thinking—and you generally assume they’re thinking something unkind about you—even though they haven’t told you what they are actually thinking
  8. If-Only and I’ll-Be-Happy-When: When you argue with the past and long for the future rather than making the most of the present
  9. Blaming: When you blame others for your problems, or conversely, when you blame yourself for others’ problems

5 STEPS TO ELIMINATE NEGATIVE SELF-TALK

Defeating the negative self-talk that infests your mind takes work, but there is a simple technique that can help you learn to manage your mind. Here are 5 steps to combat negative thinking:
  1. Whenever an automatic negative thought enters your mind, train yourself to recognize it and write it down. This helps get the thought out of your mind.
  2. Identify the type of negative thought.
  3. Ask yourself if the thought is true.
  4. Ask yourself how the thought makes you feel, and how you would feel if you didn’t have that thought.
  5. Turn the thought around to its opposite and ask yourself if this new thought might be more true than your original thought. Find evidence that supports this new thought.
When you learn to become aware of negative thoughts and challenge them, you can begin to eliminate negative self-talk and speak to yourself in a kinder, more positive way that gives you more confidence, improves self-esteem, and motivates you to reach your goals. ADD/ADHD, depression, anxiety, OCD, and other mental health issues can’t wait. At Amen Clinics, we’re here for you. We offer in-clinic brain scanning and appointments, as well as mental telehealth, clinical evaluations, and therapy for adults, teens, children, and couples. Find out more by speaking to a specialist today at 888-288-9834 or visit our contact page here. Being a teenager is hard. But teen girls are struggling with mental health more than ever before, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s (CDC) Youth Risk Behavior Survey 2011-2021 (YRBS) published earlier this year. The survey findings are based on responses gathered in the fall of 2021 from 17,000 high school students across the U.S. Since the CDC began the survey in 2011, collecting new data every two years, it has revealed a steady increase in mental health issues among teens with each new report. The latest numbers are shocking.   An astounding 30% of high school girls reported seriously considering suicide in the year prior, 24% made a suicide plan, and 13% of females said they actually attempted suicide.
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RECORD LEVELS OF SADNESS IN TEEN GIRLS

The data from this most recent survey regarding the mental health of high school girls is particularly concerning. An alarming 57% of teen girls reported feeling so sad and hopeless for two weeks or more in the last year that they were not able to do some of their usual activities. In comparison, 29% of teen boys reported the same. The figure reflects a 60% increase in teen girls suffering from persistent sad and hopeless feelings since 2011. Adding insult to injury, an astounding 30% of high school girls reported seriously considering suicide in the year prior, 24% made a suicide plan, and 13% of females said they actually attempted suicide—roughly double what teen boys reported on all accounts. Since the YRBS was released, mental health professionals and parents are urgently seeking to better understand what’s driving the crisis. Several factors are presented here.

MENTAL IMPACT OF THE PANDEMIC ON TEENS

The 2021 YRBS survey no doubt reflects, in part, the mental health impact of the COVID-19 pandemic on all teens. Indeed, the sudden loss of social connection to peers and other supportive adult influences (tutors, teachers, coaches, neighboring parents, etc.) and activities outside the home was difficult for teens in general. Research shows this to be true. One study found social isolation is strongly associated with increased depression and anxiety among all teens. But some research showed a greater impact on teen girls, which was attributed to girls having greater worry about others contracting COVID-19, changes in daily and school routines, not seeing friends in person, and passive social media use. This is not totally surprising as girls are known to rely more on their friends for emotional support, especially during stressful times. However, there’s much more to the story as mental health issues amongst female teens had already been steadily increasing prior to the pandemic.

UNDERSTANDING THE FEMALE BRAIN

Male and female brains are not the same—and it’s possible that these differences factor into more mental health challenges for teen girls. A Harvard Medical School study took scans of male and female brains and found that female brains have larger volumes in the frontal and limbic cortices. The prefrontal cortex is the area of the brain used for learning, judgment, controlling impulses, and conscientiousness. The limbic system is the brain’s emotional center. This may explain why teen girls are less impulsive than teen boys and more concerned with emotion. Teen girls’ minds are often busier and tend to worry too much. This can lead to increased automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) and constant worry about what other people think about them and how they compare with peers—especially when it comes to appearance. The dramatic fluctuations of the hormones estrogen and progesterone menstruating teen girls experience each month fuels negative, worried thoughts even more. It may, in part, be why teen girls are more prone to anxiety, depression, and other mood disorders.

TEEN GIRLS’ MENTAL HEALTH AND SOCIAL MEDIA

When you combine the small but significant differences in female brains with the negative influence of increased social media use, they likely contribute to the current mental health crisis among teen girls. Indeed, experts have noted that the rise of smartphone and social media use, which escalated dramatically in the early 2010s, coincides with worsening mental health among teens, especially girls. One research study linked the escalation of mental health crises (increased rates of depression and suicide), especially among teen girls, with the rise of electronic use over other activities—noting that more screen time was associated with worse mental health outcomes. Digital media isn’t always a detriment though. For example, research analyzing digital media use among teens during the pandemic up until the fall of 2021 showed that when it involved “one-to-one communication, self-disclosure in the context of mutual online friendship, as well as positive and funny online experiences,” it helped lessen loneliness and stress. Yet, the very same analysis found many more instances of poor mental health associated with digital media use when it involved a young person’s tendency to compare, experience fear of missing out (FOMO), and exposure to negative content. Of course, social media has addictive qualities too, and young people are at greater risk of developing addictive symptoms, research has found. How social media is used is key. Surveys have indicated that teen girls use social media more than boys, which would potentially cause a greater impact on their well-being. A 2022 Pew Research report found that teen girls were more likely to report they use social media too much and would have a harder time giving it up. They were also more frequently using TikTok, Instagram, and Snapchat than boys—apps that are notorious for comparison and access to potentially harmful content. One recent report from the Center for Countering Digital Hate warns that TikTok pushes harmful content into users’ feeds promoting eating disorders and self-harm. Yet, social media is only one contributor to teen girls’ mental health.

TEENS GIRLS, TRAUMA, AND SUBSTANCE ABUSE

Additional factors impacting mental health, which disproportionately affect teen girls are sexual violence and bullying, according to the YRBS. Reports of sexual violence by anyone were more than three times as high for teen girls than boys with 18% of girls reporting having been violated sexually, compared to 5% for teen boys. Additionally, 14% of high school girls reported being forced to have sex versus 4% of high school boys. According to the YRBS, 20% of teen girls were cyber-bullied compared to 11% of boys. These traumas are, of course, associated with increased rates of depression, anxiety, and substance abuse. Cyber-bullying is particularly destructive to teen girls, research has found. And research also shows that it is highly associated with poor mental health, self-harm, and suicidality. While overall substance abuse is down among teens according to the YRBS, girls tended to use substances more than boys. In particular, 29% of female high school students reported drinking alcohol in the 30 days prior while only 19% of males said they drank alcohol. It is not uncommon for teens to self-medicate when they are struggling with mental health disorders, an abundance of research has found.

SOCIAL CONNECTEDNESS

While more insights are sure to come, the CDC has urged high schools to take measures to increase “social connectedness” for high school students by implementing programs that give students a sense that they are cared for, supported, and belong. For parents, implementing some parameters around digital media use and staying alert to sudden changes in their teen’s moods and/or behavior is critical. Heed the warning signs of trauma, depression, and substance abuse, and seek the help of a qualified mental health professional without delay. Depression, suicidality, and other mental health issues can’t wait. At Amen Clinics, we’re here for you. We offer in-clinic brain scanning and appointments, as well as mental telehealth, clinical evaluations, and therapy for adults, teens, children, and couples. Find out more by speaking to a specialist today at 888-288-9834 or visit our contact page here.