Did you know that your hormones have a huge impact on brain function, for both men and women? When your hormones are balanced you tend to feel happy and energetic. When your hormones are off, everything and everyone in your life suffers.
Let me give you a very personal, example of how issues with hormones can affect your relationships.
I am married to a neurosurgical ICU nurse. While Tana is both beautiful and smart, she was also used to being very assertive, working around neurosurgeons all day long. She often joked, “What is the difference between a neurosurgeon and God? … At least God knows he is not a neurosurgeon.”
Tana also has a black belt in tae kwon do and her approach to romance was more like the typical guy — we’d be cuddling together and she’d say,” OK that’s enough, I’ve got to go work out.” She also loved masculine dogs.
One of our first fights was over what type of dog we should get together. I wanted a King Charles Cavalier Spaniel—they’re cute, little, fluffy, smart, and sweet. She wanted none of it. She actually said that the little dogs were nothing more than chew toys for the bigger dogs. So we compromised on an English Bulldog. Frasier was cute, but not the kind of cute I was looking for.
When Tana was about 38 years old, she went off birth control pills and noticed that her face started breaking out and her menstrual cycles became very irregular. Despite her young age, she thought she must be going through perimenopause, a period of time that can last several years prior to menopause.
To figure out what was going on, she went to see her doctor. To her astonishment, she was informed that her cholesterol and triglycerides were high and that she was pre-diabetic. What?! You have to understand that Tana is 5’6” inches tall, weighs 118 pounds, has about 15 percent body fat, works out like a nut, and eats all the right foods. “That’s crazy,” she thought. “I’m the healthiest person I know.”
We were both concerned about her health, so we took a friend’s recommendation and made an appointment with Dr. Christine Paoletti, a gynecologist in Santa Monica. It only took about 10 minutes for Dr. Paoletti to suspect that Tana had a condition called polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), which causes a woman to have too much testosterone.
PCOS is also linked to irregular menstrual cycles, skin breakouts, high cholesterol, and insulin resistance. An ultrasound confirmed the diagnosis. Why didn’t any other doctors catch it? Tana doesn’t fit the typical physical profile of a woman with PCOS. Most women with PCOS are overweight and have excessive facial and body hair.
Dr. Paoletti treated Tana with glucophage, a medication used to balance insulin and reduce testosterone levels. The changes were dramatic. Within a few months, her cholesterol dropped 50 points, her insulin levels normalized, her skin cleared up, and her cycle became perfectly regular.
Even more dramatic were the changes in her personality. All of a sudden, she wanted to cuddle more, was less intense, less anxious, and after about six months she had to have a pocket poodle and called her Tinkerbell.
Now, I like to say, change your hormones, change your brain, change your body, change your personality, change your relationships… and even change the type of dog you have. It is clear that our hormones are heavily involved in making us who we are.
Again, these hormonal shifts can cause seismic problems in relationships. Carefully testing and treating hormonal issues for both men and women is critical to brain health and the health of your relationships.
