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By Neha Kansara, MD The month of May is marked by Mother’s Day, a time when we collectively celebrate the joys of motherhood. But for many women, being a mom or becoming one is fraught with emotional upheaval. As a specialist in women’s health and perinatal/reproductive psychiatry, I have seen that women can struggle at every phase of the process—fertility, pregnancy, and postpartum. Here are some strategies I use with my patients to help them achieve better emotional balance in their motherhood journey.

Coping with the Stress and Anxiety of Fertility Issues

As I say to my patients who are feeling overly stressed or anxious about fertility problems, “It comes easy and very naturally to many, but you may not be one of those many.” I typically remind these women that even though becoming pregnant may not be as easy and natural as it is for others, believing in the power of being a woman and having the confidence that their body can create a human being should keep them going. My recommendation to these women is to avoid letting the stress of infertility take over their life. Focusing on the stress creates even more stress and leads to feelings of anguish, frustration, and a sense of being a failure. This leads to grief and a sense of loss. One of my favorite sayings is: “Always remember that difficult roads lead to beautiful destinations!” When a woman has faith and believes in the process, it enhances the ability to create the magic and have a miracle baby.

Dealing with the Emotional Ups and Downs of Pregnancy

Some women hit the pregnancy jackpot and feel like a million bucks from the day of conception until the time they deliver. They’re the lucky ones. However, there are so many others who are bedridden due to complications, such as first trimester morning sickness, spotting that leads to fears of losing a baby, second trimester gestational diabetes, third trimester fatigue or pre-eclampsia, and so on. When pregnancies don’t go smoothly, it can give birth to mood instability, anxiety, anticipated apprehension, and catastrophic thinking. When I see patients like this, I suggest that they create an open line of communication with their obstetrician, so they feel assured that both they and their unborn fetus are in good hands. Secondly, I recommend practicing positive affirmations, breathing exercises, prenatal yoga, and meditation because they are useful tools that help calm pregnancy-related fears and anxiety. Last but not least, mothers-to-be do not need to go it alone in this journey. It’s important for pregnant women to seek support from close friends and family and to ask for professional help if needed.

Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders

The first 3 months postpartum are the most difficult phase and time in a mother’s life. It’s so challenging, it has earned the term “the fourth trimester.” For some women, this stage may last much longer than a trimester, lingering on for 2 years or even more. During this phase when they are caring for a newborn, moms are trying to be the best version of themselves while also attempting to be attentive to everyone else’s needs the way they used to—all while dealing with sleep deprivation. This is also a phase that can be particularly challenging for maternal mental health. Postpartum symptoms, also known as PMADs (perinatal mood and anxiety disorders), can include a constellation of symptoms that are negatively influenced by hormonal imbalances, sleep deprivation, pre-morbid conditions, lack of support, difficulties in breastfeeding, and much more. For some women, a sense of pressure to be the BEST IDEAL MOM adds even more stress and contributes to postpartum depression, anxiety, trauma, and more. I always ask new moms to pose this question to themselves: “Will I be able to create the same balance I had achieved before, and if not, what’s the worst that can happen?” Helping women walk themselves through this process to unburden themselves of the pursuit of perfection and to believe in themselves helps them succeed in feeling more joy in motherhood.

Dr. Kansara’s 7 Healing Solutions for Perinatal Mental Health Issues

Here are 7 solutions I recommend to nearly all of my patients who are experiencing emotional challenges related to motherhood.
  1. The golden rule to always keep in mind: DO NOT SUFFER IN SILENCE AS YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
  2. Take time out for yourself even if it is just 10-15 minutes a day. You need to breathe deeply and heal yourself first. Self-healing is extremely important in this journey.
  3. Try to incorporate a healthy diet, adequate hydration, meditation, and exercise.
  4. Take daily walks whenever possible.
  5. Practice daily post-natal yoga.
  6. Ask for help and remember that there is no shame in that. People will support you when you ask.
  7. If your mental health is suffering and interfering with your daily life or your ability to bond with or care for your baby, you may benefit from professional help. Check the Postpartum Support International for resources and support or for more personalized treatment for perinatal mental health issues, contact Amen Clinics for the best quality of care.

About the Author: Neha Kansara, MD, Amen Clinics Dallas

Dr. Neha Kansara is a double board-certified psychiatrist at Amen Clinics specializing in women’s health and perinatal/reproductive psychiatry. She also serves on the panel of Postpartum Support International. To make an appointment with Dr. Kansara or to make a referral, contact us at 888-288-9834 or on our website here. Is your child or teen displaying physical aggression—fighting at school, pushing and shoving their siblings, hitting the dog, or biting you? It can be distressing and may leave you feeling scared of your own child. Many parents with aggressive, volatile, or hostile kids are at a loss to correct the behavior. You may have tried disciplining them using recommended parenting strategies but without success. When nothing seems to work in terms of overcoming physical aggression, it’s time to look for hidden causes.

Here are 8 underlying factors that can trigger aggression in children and teens.

1. ADD/ADHD

In kids and teens with ADD/ADHD, impulsiveness is a core characteristic that can lead to aggressive behavior. These youngsters act on impulse without thinking about the consequences of their behavior and are more likely to get into fights or altercations. Brain SPECT imaging studies at Amen Clinics, which has the world’s largest database of functional brain scans related to behavior, show that ADD/ADHD is associated with low blood flow in the prefrontal cortex. This brain region is involved with impulse control, and low activity here is linked to impulsivity. Fix it: Children and teens with ADD/ADHD can benefit from increased blood flow to the brain with intense exercise, a higher-protein and lower-carbohydrate diet, and supplements that boost dopamine (such as green tea and rhodiola). In addition, it’s critical to know your child’s ADD/ADHD type. The brain imaging work at Amen Clinics has helped identify 7 types of ADD.

2. Mood disorders

Young people with bipolar disorder frequently exhibit aggression when they are in the manic phase. Similarly, high levels of aggressive behavior have been noted in adolescents with depression, according to research in the Journal of the American Academy of Adolescent Psychiatry. Fix it: Seeking treatment for major depressive disorder and other mood disorders is essential, but be aware that there are multiple types of depression. Knowing your child’s type can help you get the right treatment plan.

3. Conduct disorders

This is a serious emotional and behavioral problem that is characterized by aggression, violence, and hostility. These kids may bite, hit, push, or bully others. They may also set fires, exhibit cruelty to animals, or vandalize property. Fix it: Conduct disorder can be manageable with the right treatment plan and family support.

4. Learning disorders and communication problems

Adolescents with learning disabilities or communication issues, such autism spectrum disorder (ASD) or Asperger’s syndrome (now referred to as high-functioning autism), can become anxious or frustrated when they can’t express their feelings. This can lead them to lash out. Fix it: Address learning issues and seek treatment for ASD. Diet can be very important for children with autism, so be sure you know the 5 foods that make autism worse.

5. Head injuries

Children and teens who have experienced a concussion or repetitive blows to the head (such as from tackle football or heading soccer balls) may have underlying damage to the brain. From 2010 to 2015, concussion diagnoses in kids ages 10-19 jumped by 71%, according to a 2016 study by Blue Cross Blue Shield. Areas commonly damaged include the prefrontal cortex, which is involved in impulse control, empathy, and judgment, as well as the temporal lobes, which are involved in mood stability and temper control. Damage to these areas is associated with impulsivity and temper problems. Fix it: Getting a functional brain SPECT imaging scan can help identify areas of damage that can be optimized. Healing the brain after a concussion is possible with a variety of therapies, including hyperbaric oxygen therapy (HBOT), neurofeedback, nutritional supplements, and more.

6. Being the victim of physical or sexual abuse

A 2016 study in the Journal of Child & Adolescent Trauma found that 72% of childhood abuse victims engaged in physical aggression. Fix it: Talk to your children and let them know it’s okay to open up to you about any abuse they may be experiencing. If you suspect an issue but can’t get them to share what’s going on, have them talk to a mental health professional.

7. Drug or alcohol use

Consuming alcohol or doing drugs negatively impacts brain function and can interfere with healthy brain development. This can contribute to poor decision-making, impulsivity, and lack of empathy, which can combine to create aggression. Fix it: If your child has a problem with addiction, get them into a brain-centered addiction treatment plan.

8. Food allergies

In some children and teens, food sensitivities can lead to a wide range of issues, including aggressive behavior, irritability, hyperactivity, anxiety, low moods, fatigue, and more. Some of the most common food allergens include gluten, dairy, sugar, corn, and soy, as well as artificial dyes (such as red dye 40), sweeteners, and preservatives. Fix it: Put your child on an elimination diet by removing these potential allergens for one month. Then re-introduce them one at a time to see if any of them cause a reaction. Aggression and the underlying mental health factors that contribute to it can’t wait. During these uncertain times, your mental well-being is more important than ever and waiting until life gets back to “normal” is likely to make your symptoms worsen over time. At Amen Clinics, we’re here for you. We offer in-clinic brain scanning and appointments, as well as mental telehealth, remote clinical evaluations, and video therapy for adults, children, and couples. Find out more by speaking to a specialist today at 888-288-9834 or visit our contact page here. At the beginning of 2020, Brenda and Craig, both in their mid-60s, were loving life as empty nesters, and the world seemed wide open with possibilities. The couple started taking road trips—something they couldn’t do when their kids were living at home and had to be shuttled to their sports events and school activities. When COVID-19 began spreading across the globe, they didn’t really feel much concern. In their midwestern town, they didn’t know anybody who had gotten sick, so they continued road tripping. A few months into the pandemic, however, they started getting frantic calls from their youngest daughter Rachelle, 32, who was a New York City attorney living on her own in a Manhattan apartment. She had gotten laid off and was anxious about the spike in COVID-19 cases and deaths in her area. She felt stressed about her dwindling finances, lack of job prospects, and aching loneliness. On one of those phone calls, Rachelle blurted out, “I can’t take it anymore! I’m moving back home!” Brenda and Craig were thrilled to have their daughter move back home and welcomed her with open arms, but the new living situation wasn’t as smooth as they anticipated. And it was equally trying for their daughter. Understandably, their youngest child felt bad about losing her job, her apartment, and her independence. Brenda and Craig also felt like they’d lost their freedom too. And Rachelle fell back into old patterns, expecting her mom to do everything for her—the laundry, cooking, and cleaning—which made Brenda resentful. Craig was concerned about his daughter’s behavior. She watched the news or scrolled the internet for pandemic information 24/7, which just ramped up her anxiety. He thought she was overreacting and suspected that her constant handwashing and sanitizing might be a sign of obsessive compulsive disorder. Their mismatched anxiety levels created a lot of tension that led to arguments. That’s when Brenda and Craig reached out to Amen Clinics for help. They’re not alone. A growing number of families have been coming to the clinics for help coping with the stress of adult children moving back home. You may be struggling with the same situation whether you’re the parent or the adult child.

RECORD NUMBERS OF ADULTS MOVING BACK IN WITH PARENTS

Since the pandemic hit in 2020, millions of Americans have made a major change they didn’t anticipate—moving back home with their parents. According to the Pew Research Center, show that by July 2020, 26.6 million 18- to 29-year-olds were living with their folks, an increase of 2.6 million since February of that same year. It’s the highest percentage of young adults living with their parents since the Great Depression. The Gen Z crowd, Millennials, and Gen Xers are discovering that life with the ’rents comes with a host of stressors and new struggles. And on the flip side, the Baby Boomers who are welcoming them back home are facing their own set of challenges. A loss of independence, unresolved issues from the past, and a lack of privacy are just some of the factors that can make you bristle, regardless of whether you’re the adult child or the parent. Feelings of anxiety, depression, and worry about the pandemic, finances, and health can compound the stresses and make you feel like you’re living in a pressure cooker. How can you cope with the issues that arise from suddenly living in a multigenerational household? As Brenda, Craig, and their daughter learned at Amen Clinics, one of the best ways to improve relationships is with a communication strategy psychiatrists call RELATING. Here’s how to put it into action.

RELATING FOR A STRESS-LESS LIFE

R for Responsibility

This is the ability to respond to any situation. In all your dealings with the people living in your household, ask yourself what you can do to respond in a healthy, positive way.

E for Empathy

Having the ability to feel what others are feeling enhances relationships. Before blurting out something that may be hurtful to others, take a breath and think about where they are coming from and what they may be feeling. If you or your family members are struggling with anxiety, depression, ADD/ADHD, drug or alcohol problems, or other mental health issues, keep that in mind and encourage them to seek treatment if necessary.

L for Listening

Being a good listener and having effective communication skills is so important in getting along with family members, especially when you’re all living under the same roof. Put down your phone and actively listen to what others are saying.

A for Assertiveness

Expressing thoughts in a firm yet reasonable way is one of the keys to creating healthy boundaries at home. Firm doesn’t mean being aggressive or yelling. Be firm while also being kind, calm, and clear.

T for Time

To strengthen your relationships at home, you need to devote actual physical time to it. In these unprecedented times, however, you may find you have too much time together. If this is the case, find ways to get some alone time by taking a walk outside or scheduling quiet time for reading or meditating. Create a family schedule where you can note your “me time,” and be sure to respect others’ self-care time.

I for Inquiry

Questioning and correcting negative thoughts and thinking patterns regarding your family members is critical to creating a less stressful living situation. If your mind is filled with a lot of ANTs (automatic negative thoughts)—such as mind-reading ANTs (assuming you know what others are thinking without asking them), fortune-telling ANTs (predicting the worst), or blaming ANTs (blaming others for your situation)—it’s time to rethink your thinking.

N for Noticing

Make an effort to notice what you like about family members more than what you don’t like about them. When you direct your mind to look for the positive, it will help create a happier environment.

G Is for Grace and forgiveness

If you have trouble getting over past hurts or unresolved issues, find healthy ways to move forward. Giving grace and forgiving others isn’t about letting them get away with something, it is more about helping you heal and feel better. Family issues, anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues can’t wait. During these uncertain times, your mental well-being is more important than ever and waiting until life gets back to “normal” is likely to make your symptoms worsen over time. At Amen Clinics, we’re here for you. We offer in-clinic brain scanning and appointments, as well as mental telehealth, remote clinical evaluations, and video therapy for adults, children, and couples. Find out more by speaking to a specialist today at 888-288-9834 or visit our contact page here.