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When anxiety, fear, or panic attacks arise, it can feel like you’ve been swept up in an emotional riptide. But you don’t have to let daily stressors hijack your emotions. With a very simple strategy—so easy even children can do it—you can calm yourself and wash away anxiousness. What is this soothing technique? It’s called havening, and you can do it anywhere, anytime.

“Havening is a technique that uses touch to create delta waves in the brain,” explains Sandlin Lowe, M.D., a neuropsychiatrist and former neurosurgeon who specializes in integrative psychiatry to enhance brain health at Amen Clinics. Certain surfaces of our skin—such as the palms of our hands—have special nerve endings called Pacinian corpuscles, and if you put pressure on them, they generate delta waves. These calming brainwaves, which typically occur during sleep, can help soothe anxious feelings.

HOW DO DELTA WAVES CALM ANXIETY?

Havening, which was developed by Ronald Ruden, M.D., an internist with a Ph.D. in organic chemistry, generates delta waves that have a positive effect on regions of the brain that are involved in creating emotionally charged memories and trauma. One of these brain regions is the amygdala, which plays a major role in recording the emotions of our experiences. When it comes to traumatic experiences, the amygdala encodes emotions in a different way, and they become what neuroscientists call “potentiated.” This means they get hard-wired into your brain where they stick like super glue.

“That’s why you can close your eyes and within moments feel like you’re back in a traumatic moment,” says Dr. Lowe, who sees patients for havening appointments at Amen Clinics (via Zoom or in-person at the Amen Clinics New York location). “It’s Mother Nature reminding us not to do that again.”

Emotional trauma is usually related to an experience or event that is either unpredictable and/or inescapable. With the coronavirus pandemic, Dr. Lowe says, “You could argue that we’re all being emotionally traumatized each and every day from what’s going on.”

3 TYPES OF HAVENING TOUCH

Dr. Lowe, who uses this unique therapy with many of his patients, says the most common havening touch techniques include the following:

3 COMMON FORMS OF HAVENING

There are many forms of havening, but 3 of the most common are called transpirational, affirmational, and event havening.

Transpirational Havening

If you feel anxiety from the day’s events, distressing news, or a desperate situation, transpirational havening can help. While you use one of the 3 touch techniques described above, talk about what you’re feeling. For example, as you stroke your arms in a downward motion, you may say something like, “I’m feeling so worried about our finances, and I’m feeling helpless.” As the touch produces delta brainwaves, the special nerve endings send signals to the amygdala that make it feel safe and secure. This helps take away the anxiety-producing effects of the words you are saying.

During the pandemic, this can be very effective for frontline healthcare workers who have gone through a difficult experience with COVID-19 patients and are having trouble coping. After a particularly stressful or sad shift, a frontline worker might do self-havening and talk about what they’re feeling. “There were so many sick people on my shift, and I’m so scared of getting the virus and infecting my family. I didn’t’ sign up for this and it isn’t fair.” While talking about these feelings, the emotions are being neutralized by the delta waves to help restore calm.

Affirmational Havening

Saying positive affirmations while practicing one of the havening touch techniques can be very powerful. This is due to the fact that havening mimics the sleep stage when your brain incorporates the memories of the day. Because of this, saying affirmations while havening puts those positive thoughts into the brain’s memory centers—the hippocampus involved in declarative memory and in the dorsolateral striatum and ventral striatum involved in operational and procedural memory.

“This is like taking the power of positive thinking and exponentially supercharging it,” says Dr. Lowe. “Not only are you loading up your brain with wonderful, powerful affirmations, but you’re also putting them into procedural/operational memory. so you can operationalize these powerful positive aspirational thoughts.”

This can be very effective at resetting your anxiety levels. For example, during the day if you get anxious or frightened, think “safe, peaceful, calm” while you rub your hands or arms. This will help defuse your brain’s fear centers and promote soothing.

Event Havening

This form of havening is often used for people with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). It has been found to help eliminate the intrusive thoughts, nightmares, and flashbacks associated with PTSD. Note that this form of havening is best done with a trained therapist

More from Dr. Sandlin Lowe on Havening:


What is Havening, and How Can it Help with Anxiety? with Dr. Sandlin Lowe and Donna Lalwani

Anxiety, depression, PTSD, and other mental health issues can’t wait. During these uncertain times, your mental well-being is more important than ever and waiting until life gets back to “normal” is likely to make your symptoms worsen over time.

At Amen Clinics, we’re here for you. We offer in-clinic brain scanning and appointments, as well as mental telehealth, remote clinical evaluations, and video therapy for adults, children, and couples. Find out more by speaking to a specialist today at 888-288-9834. If all our specialists are busy helping others, you can also schedule a time to talk.

“So what, mom, it’s just a few beers.”

Have you ever heard that refrain from your kid? If so, it’s time to talk about drinking. You may think you’re powerless to put a stop to underage drinking, but did you know that parents are the #1 reason why kids decide not to drink alcohol?

What you say to your kids about drinking can change their life for the better.

THE HIDDEN DANGERS OF UNDERAGE DRINKING

There’s no doubt that teenage drinking is fraught with trouble—drunk driving, car accidents, risky sexual activity, and stupid decisions. These are just some of the familiar short-term consequences associated with alcohol intake during the teenage years.

What many parents don’t realize is that drinking also comes with many long-term emotional, cognitive, and brain health consequences. For example, did you know that heavy drinking as a teen is associated with an increased risk of:

These issues can have devastating impacts on your teen’s future. They can keep your child from reaching their academic potential, prevent them from getting into the college they want, or deprive them of a scholarship they might have earned. They can also be detrimental to relationships, future career opportunities, and overall well-being. In short, it can ruin their life.

THE DEVASTATING EFFECTS OF ALCOHOL ON THE TEENAGE BRAIN

A growing body of brain imaging research shows that teenage drinking also has damaging effects on the brain, which is undergoing rapid development up until the age of about 25. Here are some of the ways it can impact the teen brain.

HOW TO TALK TO TEENS ABOUT DRINKING

Talking to your teen about drinking is so important. Here are 6 tips to help you do it.

1. Start early and don’t stop.

It’s important to start talking to kids about alcohol before they enter the teen years. But it’s equally important to think of this as an ongoing conversation rather than a one-and-done deal. Continue talking to them about drinking when they are in junior high, high school, and beyond.

2. Show, don’t just tell.

Seeing is believing. Showing young people the brain scans of healthy people versus those who are moderate drinkers or alcoholics can be an eye-opener. This article on “5 Scary Ways Alcohol Can Damage the Brain” shows a brain scan of a drinker and can provide you with some good talking points.

3. Encourage kids to love their brain.

Share the knowledge that loving and caring for their brain will help them be happier, get better grades, be more successful, have stronger relationships with their friends, and have a better love life. The Amen University online course “Brain Thrive By 25” is taught in high schools around the country and can help kids learn how to love and care for their brain.

4. Pay attention.

Show your child that you care about them by paying attention to them. Be on the lookout for behaviors that may be signs they are drinking and talk to them about it. Kids are more likely to drink when they believe their parents won’t find out, so be present and be aware. And talk to them about what you notice.

5. Be a good role model.

Don’t take the “do as I say not as I do” approach. If you are routinely having alcoholic beverages when your child is around, they will learn that drinking is okay. Think about the behavior you are modeling for your kids.

6. Get help early.

If your youngster is developing a drinking problem, don’t wait to seek help. Talk to them about seeing a professional who can help them regain control of their life.

Addictions, anxiety, depression, ADD/ADHD, and other mental health issues can’t wait. During these uncertain times, your mental well-being is more important than ever and waiting until life gets back to “normal” is likely to make your symptoms worsen over time.

At Amen Clinics, we’re here for you. We offer in-clinic brain scanning and appointments, as well as mental telehealth, remote clinical evaluations, and video therapy for adults, children, and couples. Find out more by speaking to a specialist today at 888-288-9834. If all our specialists are busy helping others, you can also schedule a time to talk.

Why do so many couples end up in marital therapy? It often starts with the reasons why people get married in the first place. On the psychiatrist’s couch, people tend to open up and reveal what really drove them to get hitched. And in many cases, their deep-down motivation to pair up wasn’t something that lays the foundation for a lasting union. It’s no wonder they end up having problems.

After more than 30 years of treating couples for marital conflict, the psychiatrists and psychotherapists at Amen Clinics have heard it all. Based on working with thousands of couples in crisis, here are 25 of the common—and worst—reasons why people get married that almost guarantee you’re going to run into trouble later on. Do any of them sound familiar to you?

Why Couples in Marital Therapy at Amen Clinics Say They Got Hitched

  1. “I got to an age when I thought I really ‘should’ be getting married and starting a family. So I pushed my boyfriend at the time to propose even though we had a lot of problems.”
  2. “I’d always struggled with depression, and I was convinced getting married would make me happy.”
  3. “I grew up in a family where I never got any attention, and I just wanted to feel special for once and have something be about me.”
  4. “I’d always dreamed of having the perfect wedding, and honestly, I think I was more excited about the wedding than the getting married part.”
  5. “We were having issues, and I thought getting married would fix them.”
  6. “I can’t stand being alone and liked the idea of having someone who would always be there. I still like that idea; I just don’t think I picked the right person.”
  7. “I’m embarrassed to say this, but I really wanted all those amazing wedding gifts.”
  8. “All my friends had already gotten married and were either double dating or getting pregnant, and I felt left out.”
  9. “My girlfriend gave me an ultimatum to get engaged or she would leave me. I wasn’t ready to get married, but I didn’t want to lose her either, so I proposed.”
  10. “We both come from very religious families that don’t believe in sex before marriage, and we really, really wanted to have sex.”
  11. “We accidentally got pregnant.”
  12. “I thought that getting married would make my boyfriend settle down and stop going out drinking so much, but it didn’t.”
  13. “I came from a really poor family, and I thought getting married meant I would be financially secure.”
  14. “My parents put major pressure on me to get married. I felt like I had to please them.”
  15. “I was getting up in age after my first wife died, and I really wanted to have someone who would take care of me if I got sick or needed help as I got older.”
  16. “I couldn’t stand the idea of my younger sister getting married before I did.”
  17. “I found out that my ex got engaged, and I didn’t want her to feel superior to me.”
  18. “I was just so tired of the dating scene. It was exhausting and so depressing.”
  19. “I had some health issues, and I really needed the health insurance benefits from my girlfriend’s work.”
  20. “The sex was the most amazing I’ve ever had.”
  21. “I started seeing some red flags, but I didn’t want to back out after we had already gotten engaged and sent out the wedding invitations. So I went through with it.”
  22. “I was afraid that it would be my only chance, and if I didn’t get married then, I’d never have another chance.”
  23. “I grew up in total chaos and getting married seemed like a way to find stability.”
  24. “It was on total impulse. We ran off and eloped after a month of knowing each other.”
  25. “I wanted to rescue her from the terrible upbringing she had and thought I could fix her anxiety.”

Can Brain Imaging Help Save Your Marriage?

Even if you walked down the aisle for the wrong reasons, there is still hope to save the marriage. Gaining a better understanding of each other, learning to stop blaming and start taking responsibility, changing dysfunctional behavior, improving communication skills, and developing shared goals are some of the benefits of couples therapy. In some cases, however, talking through problems isn’t enough.

Brain SPECT imaging studies of couples in therapy show that underlying brain health issues are often the root of dysfunctional relationships. And in many cases, it isn’t just one person who has brain health problems, it’s both people. When one or both partners have abnormal brain activity, damage from head trauma, or problems due to exposure to toxins, it can get in the way of making any progress in therapy.

Brain imaging can be so helpful in marital therapy for so many reasons, including:

Marital conflict, anxiety, depression, ADD/ADHD, and other mental health issues can’t wait. During these uncertain times, your mental well-being is more important than ever and waiting until life gets back to “normal” is likely to make your symptoms worsen over time.

At Amen Clinics, we’re here for you. We offer in-clinic brain scanning and appointments, as well as mental telehealth, remote clinical evaluations, and video therapy for adults, children, and couples. Find out more by speaking to a specialist today at 888-288-9834. If all our specialists are busy helping others, you can also schedule a time to talk.

You may think that seeking treatment for a learning issue or mental health issues, such as attention-deficit disorder (ADD) or attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), is the biggest expense associated with the condition. But the total cost is so much higher. New research from researchers in Denmark shows just how much of an impact ADD/ADHD can have on your wallet. And it isn’t just the individual with the condition who is affected. The money drain also hits their spouses and long-term partners.

THE HIGH COST OF ADD/ADHD

The 2020 study in European Neuropsychopharmacology calculated the direct and indirect costs associated with people who have ADD/ADHD compared with people who don’t have the disorder. For the study, they looked at 83,613 individuals with ADD/ADHD and 334,446 people without it. They also compared the costs for 18,959 partners of people who have ADD/ADHD with 74,032 control partners.

The astonishing results show the real costs of having ADD/ADHD:

Add it all up and the additional direct and indirect costs amounted to 23,072 euros ($26,410) for those with ADD/ADHD and 7,997 euros ($9,154) for their partners.

Other studies have found that adults with ADD/ADHD earn $5,000-$10,000 less per year than their colleagues. That’s bad news for the 4.4% of U.S. adults diagnosed with the disorder and the millions more who have it but don’t know it, as ADD/ADHD remains vastly underdiagnosed, especially in adults.

9 WAYS ADD/ADHD HOLDS YOU BACK AT WORK

ADD/ADHD impacts all aspects of life, including your career. It can be both positive and negative in the workplace. On the positive side, people with ADD/ADHD often are high in energy, enthusiastic, full of ideas, creative and they often have bursts of energy. If they surround themselves with people who organize them and manage the details, they can be very successful. Unfortunately, many people with this disorder are not that lucky and they often have serious problems at work.

Here are some of the difficulties that people with ADD/ADHD are likely to have at work that can ultimately affect your bottom line:

1. The harder they try, the worse it gets

Brain imaging studies at Amen Clinics, which has the world’s largest database of functional brain scans related to behavior, show that the more these people try to concentrate the worse it gets for them. Their brain actually turns off, rather than turning on. When a supervisor or manager puts more pressure on them to perform, they often fall off in their work. The boss then interprets this decreased performance as willful misconduct and serious problems arise. In supervising someone with ADD/ADHD, it is much more effective to use praise and encouragement, rather than pressure.

2. Distractibility

Distractibility is often evident in meetings. People with attention problems tend to look around the room, drift off, appear bored, forget where the conversation is going, and interrupt with extraneous information. The distractibility and short attention span is commonly seen in ADD/ADHD may also cause them to take much longer to complete their work than their co-workers. They are often very frustrating to managers and co-workers.

3. Forgetfulness

Forgetfulness is common in ADD/ADHD and a serious handicap on the job. Missed deadlines, forgotten reports, and steps have gone undone on a job are just a few examples.

4. Impulsivity

Often, a lack of impulse control, which is common in this condition, gets the ADD/ADHD person fired. They may say inappropriate things to supervisors, other employees, or customers. Poorly thought out decisions also relate to impulsivity. Rather than thinking a problem through, these people want an immediate solution to the problem and act without the necessary forethought. In a similar vein, the impulsivity causes these people to have trouble going through the established channels at work. They often go right to the top to solve problems, rather than working through the system. This may cause resentment from co-workers and immediate supervisors. Impulsivity also may lead to such problem behaviors as lying and stealing.

5. Conflict seeking

Many people with ADD/ADHD are in constant turmoil with one or more people at work. They seem to “unconsciously” single out people who are vulnerable and begin to pick verbal battles with them. They also have a tendency to embarrass others, which does not endear them to anyone. Shades of the grown-up version of the class clown are also evident at work, such as cracking inappropriate jokes in meetings. Conflict may follow the ADD/ADHD person from job to job.

6. Disorganization

Disorganization is a hallmark of ADD/ADHD. Often when you look at the person’s work area, it is a wonder they can work in it at all. They tend to have many piles of stuff; paperwork is often hard for them to keep straight; they seem to have a filing system that only they can figure out (and only on good days).

7. Late to work

Many people with ADD/ADHD are chronically late to work because they have significant problems waking up in the morning. They also tend to lose track of time, which contributes to their lateness.

8. Start many projects but finish few

The energy and enthusiasm of people with ADD often push them to start many projects. Unfortunately, their distractibility and short attention span impair their ability to complete them.

9. Tendency toward addictions

People with ADD/ADHD have a tendency toward addictions, such as food, alcohol, drugs, and even work. Drug or alcohol addictions cause obvious work problems. Food addictions cause health and self-image problems that can impact work. Addiction to work is also a serious problem because it causes burnout and family problems that eventually show up as problems at work.

When ADD/ADHD is left untreated, it also costs employers millions of dollars every year in decreased productivity, absenteeism, and employee conflicts.

ADD/ADHD, anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues can’t wait. During these uncertain times, your mental well-being is more important than ever and waiting until life gets back to “normal” is likely to make your symptoms worsen over time.

At Amen Clinics, we’re here for you. We offer in-clinic brain scanning and appointments, as well as mental telehealth, remote clinical evaluations, and video therapy for adults, children, and couples. Find out more by speaking to a specialist today at 888-288-9834. If all our specialists are busy helping others, you can also schedule a time to talk.

 

Does having ADD/ADHD put you at an increased risk of contracting COVID-19? If the ADD/ADHD is untreated, the answer is yes, according to a new study in the Journal of Attention Disorders. The research involving 14,022 people in Israel found that people with untreated ADD/ADHD are about 52% more likely to have tested positive for the coronavirus illness compared with individuals who don’t have ADD/ADHD.

The researchers found, however, that in people with the attention-deficit disorder who are being treated with stimulant medication, the infection rate for COVID-19 is no higher than in those without ADD/ADHD. In these individuals, the infection rate was about 10%.

WHO’S AT RISK?

An estimated 6.1 million children ages 4-17 have been diagnosed with ADD/ADHD and approximately 8 million U.S. adults have the disorder. However, it is estimated that less than 20% of adults with the condition have received a diagnosis. And of those who have been diagnosed, only about 1 in 4 seek treatment. This adds up to millions of adults who are at increased risk of developing COVID-19 due to untreated ADD/ADHD.

WHAT’S ADD GOT TO DO WITH IT?

What is behind the connection between ADD/ADHD and increased risk? It likely lies in the hallmark ADD/ADHD symptoms, including:

During the pandemic, these characteristics can manifest in potentially harmful ways, such as forgetting to wash your hands, impulsively hosting a wild party with a lot of people, or not following health directives. These actions put people at greater risk of exposure to COVID-19 and to developing the illness.

ADD/ADHD ISN’T JUST ONE THING

What most people don’t realize is that ADD/ADHD isn’t just one thing. Over 30 years of brain SPECT imaging studies at Amen Clinics have shown that there are 7 types of ADD/ADHD. One size does not fit all, and each type has its own set of symptoms and requires a personalized treatment plan. What works for one person with ADD/ADHD may not work for another—or could even make the symptoms worse.

At Amen Clinics, brain scans of people with ADD/ADHD consistently point to decreased activity in the prefrontal cortex (PFC). Typically, when a person without ADD/ADHD tries to concentrate, activity increases in the PFC, but when someone with the condition attempts to concentrate, activity decreases. The harder they try, the worse it gets.

The 7 Types of ADD/ADHD are:

Type 1: Classic ADD: When most people think about attention-deficit disorder they think about this type, which is characterized by hyperactivity, restlessness, impulsivity, disorganization, distractibility, and trouble concentrating.

Type 2: Inattentive ADD: This is the second most common type of ADD/ADHD. People with this type tend to be labeled as slow, lazy, spacey, or unmotivated. They can be quiet and distracted.

Type 3: Overfocused ADD: People with this type have all of the core ADD/ADHD symptoms plus tremendous trouble shifting attention and a tendency to get stuck of locked into negative thought patterns or behaviors.

Type 4: Temporal Lobe ADD: The temporal lobes, which are located underneath your temples and behind your eyes, are involved with memory, learning, mood stability, and visual processing of objects. Learning and behavior problems are commonly associated with this type.

Type 5: Limbic ADD: In this type, ADD/ADHD and depression intersect. The core ADD/ADHD symptoms are present in addition to negativity, moodiness, sadness, low energy, and decreased interest in life.

Type 6: Ring of Fire ADD: Unlike those with type 1 who have low activity in certain areas of the brain, these people tend to have excessive activity throughout the brain. On brain SPECT scans, it lights up like a ring of hyperactivity. Symptoms commonly seen in this type include irritability, hyperactivity, excessive talking, overfocus issues, extreme oppositional behavior, and cyclic periods of calm behavior alternating with intense aggressive behavior. Stimulant medication tends to make these people worse.

Type 7: Anxious ADD: In people with this type it is common for ADD/ADHD symptoms to become magnified and to be accompanied by anxiety, a fear of being judged, predicting the worst, being conflict avoidant, and having physical stress symptoms (such as headaches, stomachaches, muscle tension).

Knowing your type of ADD/ADHD is the key to finding the most effective treatment.

ADD/ADHD, anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues can’t wait. During these uncertain times, your mental well-being is more important than ever and waiting until life gets back to “normal” is likely to make your symptoms worsen over time.

At Amen Clinics, we’re here for you. We offer in-clinic brain scanning and appointments, as well as mental telehealth, remote clinical evaluations, and video therapy for adults, children, and couples. Find out more by speaking to a specialist today at 888-288-9834. If all our specialists are busy helping others, you can also schedule a time to talk.

 

Too many of us whine, moan, and complain about the hardships in our lives. And with everything 2020 has delivered so far, there are a lot of hardships to go around. You may be feeling that life is unfair or that you’ve been dealt a raw deal. Like many people these days, you may be wallowing in frustration, anxiety, anger, or depression.

The buildup of emotions due to the pandemic could be squashing your motivation and leading to creative destruction. It’s not uncommon for people to feel so overwhelmed by their emotions that they have trouble getting their work done let alone doing it creatively.

For others, the swirling emotions could be fueling a creative explosion. In fact, it is through our toughest trials that our greatest creative gifts tend to emerge.  Take it from rapper Kid Cudi, who revealed in an interview with People magazine that “anxiety and depression ruled my life for as long as I could remember.” He says it took him a while to learn that “we can take our pain and turn it into something. I turn my pain into music.”

How can you be like Kid Cudi and turn your pain into passion that fuels your creativity rather than kills it?

UNDERSTAND THE NEUROSCIENCE OF CREATIVITY

Science shows that creativity is linked to emotions, and it appears that negative emotions may be behind some of the world’s greatest art. A 2008 study in Personality & Social Psychology Bulletin found that compared with social approval, social rejection was associated with greater artistic creativity.

A 2016 study used brain imaging in Scientific Reports to measure activity in the brains of jazz musicians as they created music. The researchers found that when the musicians were asked to play in a way that conveyed a positive emotion, it deactivated an area of the brain called the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex, an area involved in planning and monitoring behavior. This has been interpreted as a neural signature of being in a “flow state” or “in the zone.”

When the same musicians were asked to convey a negative emotion, the deactivation in the DLPFC wasn’t as pronounced. However, the negative emotions activated the reward centers of the brain, which are tied to drive and motivation. Negative emotions may make you more driven to create.

The act of engaging in a creative endeavor can enhance moods and emotions, according to research in the American Journal of Public Health. Because of this, it’s a good idea to find ways to channel your negative emotions in a creative way.

CHANNEL YOUR NEGATIVE EMOTIONS CREATIVELY

Don’t think you have to be “artsy” or “crafty” to get creative. Creativity crosses all domains—even mathematicians, business leaders, and neuroscientists need to innovate in creative ways. Here are some ways to turn your painful emotions into power through creativity.

ADD/ADHD, anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues can’t wait. During these uncertain times, your mental well-being is more important than ever and waiting until life gets back to “normal” is likely to make your symptoms worsen over time.

At Amen Clinics, we’re here for you. We offer in-clinic brain scanning and appointments, as well as mental telehealth, remote clinical evaluations, and video therapy for adults, children, and couples. Find out more by speaking to a specialist today at 888-288-9834. If all our specialists are busy helping others, you can also schedule a time to talk.

When a loved one or family member has depression, it takes a toll on the whole household. Parents with a teen or adult child with a depressive disorder may feel an obligation to rescue them. Children with a parent who is struggling with the condition may think they’re at fault for their parent’s negative attitudes and behaviors. And having a spouse or significant other with this common psychiatric disorder may wonder if their relationship will survive.

Depression is one of the most common mental health conditions, affecting approximately 17.3 million Americans. And those rates are rising due to the coronavirus pandemic. In fact, twice as many people reported symptoms of the disorder during the pandemic compared to a 2014 national survey that asked about depressed moods. This means more Americans are living with someone who is depressed, which can make you feel anxious, angry, frustrated, neglected, or unloved.

KNOW THE DEPRESSION SYMPTOMS THAT MAY ARISE

One of the first steps to coping more effectively in life with someone with depression is to understand the symptoms and situations that may arise.

Helplessness and Hopelessness

People with depression often have a hopeless outlook on life and feel helpless to change their situation. This attitude may be exacerbated by the pandemic, lockdown, and subsequent economic fallout. Beware that their negativity can be contagious and spread to others in the family.

Social Withdrawal

These days, everybody is dealing with some level of social withdrawal due to stay-at-home orders, but depressed people may also withdraw from the people in your own home. This can make you and other family members feel shut out or disconnected.

Irritability

Some people with depression—especially men—are more likely to have a short fuse and seem to get angry over the smallest things. When you’re the target of a parent’s, spouse’s, or teen’s angry outbursts or stinging criticisms, it can hurt. You may feel like you’re walking on eggshells in an effort to avoid setting them off.

Fatigue

A lack of energy and overwhelming fatigue are commonly seen in people with depression. Your loved one may be sleeping more and feel unable to handle their usual chores and activities. You might feel annoyed that they aren’t chipping in around the house the way you expect them to.

Loss of Interest

It’s very common for depressed people to feel apathetic about the activities they once enjoyed. You may find yourself saying things like, “Why don’t you go for a bike ride?” or “You should do some painting today.” Their lack of enthusiasm for life can trigger your frustration.

Relationship Troubles

The inability to feel pleasure (called anhedonia) can also spill over into your relationship and cause marital conflict. A depressed spouse may not show as much affection to you, may not be interested in sex, or may not want to have a “date night.” You may take it all personally and interpret this as your partner falling out of love with you when really, it’s the depression that’s pulling them away from you. If your needs aren’t being met or it makes you feel insecure about their commitment to you, it creates more friction in the relationship.

Inability to Concentrate, Forgetfulness, or Spaciness

Some people with depression seem to be living in a fog. Their lack of attention and forgetfulness may make you feel neglected or unloved.

Substance Abuse

Undiagnosed and untreated (or mistreated) depression increases the risk of addictions, which can be ruinous for families.

8 HELPFUL STRATEGIES FOR COPING WITH A LOVED ONE WHO’S DEPRESSED

1. Adopt brain healthy behaviors. Rather than simply telling your loved one what they “should” do—such as exercising, eating right, meditating, and challenging automatic negative thoughts (ANTs)—lead by example. People are more likely to pick up good habits when they are surrounded by others who have healthy routines.

2. Don’t take it personally. This can be a real challenge, but try not to take the depressed person’s anger, apathy, or withdrawal personally. Try to step back and objectively see it as a symptom of the disorder. This can help keep you from feeling hurt, angry, or defensive.

3. Be willing to listen. People who live with someone who has depressive disorder often want to “fix” things by offering solutions. Sometimes, it’s more beneficial to simply listen when the depressed person wants to share how they’re feeling. Allowing them to talk about their emotions helps get those thoughts out of their head, which can be helpful.

4. Find your own joy. When you’re living with someone with depression, it can be easy to let them drag you down into their sadness and negativity. To avoid this, you need to take care of your own needs and do the things that give you pleasure. For instance, if you want to go for a hike, but your loved one can’t muster the energy to join you, do it yourself.

5. Notice what you like more than what you don’t like. Pointing out your loved one’s successes, no matter how small, is beneficial for everyone. Make an effort to notice what your loved one is doing right rather than harping on what they’re doing that bothers you.

6. Get support when you need it. If you’re struggling with the situation with your loved one, turn to trusted friends or extended family members for some support. Going to counseling or psychotherapy—in person or via telehealth—can be extremely beneficial in helping you learn more about depression and in gaining skills to help you cope more effectively.

7. Help loved ones get the help they need. Rather than simply trying to deal with your family member’s symptoms, encourage them to get an accurate diagnosis and a personalized treatment plan. Depression is associated with many biological issues, such as low blood flow, inflammation, head trauma, exposure to toxins (such as toxic mold), infections (such as Lyme disease), hormonal imbalances, diabesity (the combination of diabetes and obesity), and sleep problems. Finding and treating any underlying issues can help resolve depressive symptoms.

8. Know their depression type. Depression isn’t a single or simple disorder. There are multiple types and knowing their type can help get the right treatment. Brain SPECT imaging has helped identify 7 types of depression and anxiety.

Depression, anxiety, ADD/ADHD, and other mental health issues can’t wait. During these uncertain times, your mental well-being is more important than ever and waiting until life gets back to “normal” is likely to make your symptoms worsen over time.

At Amen Clinics, we’re here for you. We offer in-clinic brain scanning and appointments, as well as mental telehealth, remote clinical evaluations, and video therapy for adults, children, and couples. Find out more by speaking to a specialist today at 888-288-9834. If all our specialists are busy helping others, you can also schedule a time to talk.

These days, it’s easy to get weighed down by all the pessimism and despair associated with the coronavirus pandemic, the lockdown, and the faltering economy. The human brain is hardwired for negativity, so we’re naturally on the alert for anything that could threaten our survival. Even in the darkest times, however, you can train your brain to actively seek out the positive as a way to balance that negativity bias and boost your mood.

Amen Clinics polled its employees and patients to find the little glimmers of hope and happiness that are lifting people up during these trying times.

Here are 51 good things they said have come out of the pandemic. How many good things can you find in your life?

  1. “It’s been a blessing getting to spend more time with my kids, who both came back home from college.”
  2. “My husband normally works really long hours at the office, so he never really noticed how bad our son’s ADD was. Since he’s been working from home due to the pandemic and seeing our son all day long, he finally realized that he seriously needed treatment. So we took him in for a full evaluation, including a brain scan. We learned his ADD type and have started treatment, and it’s working! If my husband hadn’t been working from home, it might have taken years for me to convince him to get our son evaluated.”
  3. “I absolutely love getting to hang out with my dog all day.”
  4. “My spouse and I have really reconnected on a deeper level since the lockdown began. We’re talking more about things that are actually important rather than just our daily to-do lists.”
  5. “Being forced to break my old routines has helped me see that I’m not stuck in my old ways. I can change. It’s made me feel more empowered to make positive changes in my life.”
  6. “I’ve been walking a lot more. I know it’s good for my health, but it’s also really good for my mood, which is great for someone like me with depression. I feel a lot more energized and a lot more upbeat after I do it.”
  7. “No more hellish commute to work. I can start my day without all that aggravation. It’s so much better for my mindset.”
  8. “I pick up some groceries each week for my elderly neighbor, and it makes me feel like I’m doing something positive.”
  9. “I always thought I was a terrible cook, but I’ve been spending more time in the kitchen and am actually getting pretty good at it.”
  10. “Everything in my life was always such a rush, but now it feels like I’m allowed to slow down a bit. I feel like I can breathe again, and I like it.”
  11. “I used to just drive to work then drive home and shut the front door. I never really knew any of my neighbors and felt kind of isolated. I’ve started walking more and am getting to know my neighbors, and it’s really nice. I’ve got more of a sense of community like we’re all in this together.”
  12. “I’m an introvert, and I’m loving not having to make small talk with people all day long. I didn’t realize how stressful that was for me.”
  13. “I’ve kind of fun wearing cute face masks that show my personality.”
  14. “I’m realizing how important the little things in life are, like that feeling you get when you score some disinfectant wipes at the store.”
  15. “I have more time for self-care because I’m not spending 2 hours a day commuting to and from work.”
  16. “In my neighborhood, a family of musicians has been holding Friday evening front-porch concerts. Everyone is wearing a mask and physical distancing, but it’s such a treat.”
  17. “There are some really great TV series and movies I’m discovering.”
  18. “I’m learning to embrace my ‘quarantine hair’ and not worry so much about the gray.”
  19. “I’ve been meaning to address my depression and anxiety for a long time, but I always made the excuse that I couldn’t take time off from work to do it. But since I’m only working part-time now, I decided to finally get a brain scan and find the root cause of my issues. It’s really been life-changing.”
  20. “I’ve been reading more books.”
  21. “We don’t have any of those obnoxious door-to-door salespeople banging on the door anymore.”
  22. “It’s so nice seeing kids’ chalk drawings on the sidewalks. It reminds me of my own childhood.”
  23. “I’ve discovered podcasts. I listen while I’m doing my home workouts.”
  24. “I’m so glad I don’t have to fill up the car with gas every week.”
  25. “It’s so great not having to take the subway to work.”
  26. “I never forget to take my lunch to work.”
  27. “What a relief to not have to put on makeup every day.”
  28. “I’ve been redecorating the house and making it feel more like ‘me.’”
  29. “I’ve been taking more naps.”
  30. “Unless I have a Zoom meeting for work, I’ve been living in comfy sweats.”
  31. “The return of game nights with the family—it’s like old-fashioned fun. If I’d suggested this to my kids 6 months ago, there’s no way they would have done this.”
  32. “I planted a little garden, and I’m loving seeing it grow.”
  33. “I’m feeling more grateful for the little things these days. Just waking up and feeling healthy is something to appreciate.”
  34. “I’m actually talking to some of my friends and family more often thanks to FaceTime and Zoom.”
  35. “I’ve gotten to celebrate birthdays with friends who live far away on Zoom.”
  36. “I feel like I finally have time to focus on some of those goals that I’ve been meaning to get to.”
  37. “There are so many online courses and trainings that are being offered for free now that I’m getting to learn some new skills.”
  38. “We’ve finally been getting to some of those home improvements we’d been putting off for so long.”
  39. “It’s kind of cool how much money you can save by learning to cut and color your own hair.”
  40. “How great is grocery store delivery? Why didn’t I know about that earlier?”
  41. “I never used to be able to afford to go to conferences because of the travel costs, but now I can attend virtually without the added airfare and hotel expenses.”
  42. “We’ve got more time to focus on creative hobbies. I’ve been writing more, and my spouse is getting back into painting.”
  43. “I always wanted to be more consistent with meditation, and now I can use the time I would have spent doing my hair and makeup in the morning to meditate. I’ve been doing it every morning, and it really helps me throughout the entire day.”
  44. “It sounds really basic, but since I’m not around the soda vending machines at work, I’ve been drinking more water, and it actually makes a big difference.”
  45. “The best thing for me has been growing a beard so I don’t have to shave every day.”
  46. “There have been several car ‘parades’ to celebrate kids’ birthdays in the neighborhood. What a great idea! I hope that’s a trend that sticks around even after the pandemic is over.”
  47. “It really warms my heart that more people are adopting shelter animals.”
  48. “I’m so glad that as a society we’ve reduced carbon emissions and we’ve had cleaner air.”
  49. “Being able to see my therapist from the comfort of my own home using video therapy has been so helpful for me.”
  50. “I like that so many restaurants are doing outdoor dining now.”
  51. “Two words: road trips! We’ve been taking drives for weekend getaways where we’re isolated from others but out in nature. It’s my favorite thing that’s come out of this whole mess.”

Depression, anxiety, ADD/ADHD, and other mental health issues can’t wait. During these uncertain times, your mental well-being is more important than ever and waiting until life gets back to “normal” is likely to make your symptoms worsen over time.

At Amen Clinics, we’re here for you. We offer in-clinic brain scanning and appointments, as well as mental telehealth, remote clinical evaluations, and video therapy for adults, children, and couples. Find out more by speaking to a specialist today at 888-288-9834. If all our specialists are busy helping others, you can also schedule a time to talk.