6 Signs You May Need Mental Health Help
Facebook-f X-twitter Youtube TLDR: Mental health conditions affect more than 1 in 5 U.S. adults, yet warning signs are frequently missed because they emerge gradually
ARCHIVE
Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs): How to Stop Toxic Thinking and Rewire Your Brain
Learn how to identify toxic thinking and eliminate automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) to reduce anxiety, depression, and negativity.
Have you ever had an ant infestation in your house? A couple of ants are no big deal, but when there are hundreds or even thousands of them swarming in your kitchen, it can ruin your day. The same goes for ANTs in your mind.
Automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) make you feel mad, sad, worried, nervous, lonely, or out of control. Examples of ANTs include thoughts like:
- “My wife just gave me a look. I don’t think she loves me anymore.”
- “I’ll be happy when I lose 20 pounds.”
- “Everybody in that political party is awful.”
We all have a few ANTs from time to time. That’s normal. However, if you have an infestation of these pesky thoughts inside your head, it could be a sign of mental health problems. ANTs (automatic negative thoughts) can rob you of peace, fuel anxiety, and lead to depression.
Too many automatic negative thoughts means it’s time to do something about your mental hygiene. You need to disinfect your thoughts and kill the ANTs to overcome anxiety, depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), trauma, and grief.
Disinfect your thoughts and kill the ANTs (automatic negative thoughts) to overcome anxiety, depression, trauma, and grief.
THE ORIGIN OF ANTS: DR. AMEN’S PERSONAL DISCOVERY
Psychiatrist Dr. Daniel Amen, the founder of Amen Clinics, coined the term ANTs (automatic negative thoughts) to describe how negativity can infest your brain. The idea for the ANTs Dr. Amen describes came after a hard day at work when he had seen four suicidal patients, two teenagers who ran away from home, and two couples who hated their spouses.
When he went home that evening, he was met with an ant infestation in the kitchen. Thousands of the tiny insects were crawling all over. As he cleaned them up, it made him think that his patients were also infested with ANTs (automatic negative thoughts) that were driving their feelings of depression, hopelessness, helplessness, and irritability.
He realized that if he could teach his patients to eliminate the ANTs, it would help them feel happier, have less anxiety, and be better able to get along with others.
HOW YOUR THOUGHTS AFFECT YOUR BRAIN CHEMISTRY
Every thought you have triggers the release of neurochemicals, which are involved in rewiring your brain.
Negative thoughts cause your brain to immediately release chemicals that affect every cell in your body, making you feel bad. The opposite is also true—positive, happy, hopeful thoughts release chemicals that make you feel good.
Your thought patterns can also have long-term effects. Repetitive toxic thinking may promote the buildup of the harmful deposits seen in the brains of people with Alzheimer’s disease. It may also increase the risk of dementia, according to a 2020 brain-imaging study in the Alzheimer’s & Dementia.
For decades, experts have known that negative thinking is also tightly linked to other mental health disorders, such as clinical depression. In fact, research shows that the reciprocal connection between ruminating thoughts and depression leads to a vicious cycle that prolongs and intensifies symptoms of depression.
ANTs also fuel anxiety, posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), grief, and other mental health issues. Being plagued by worrisome thoughts can make you feel like a negative person and makes it harder to overcome these problems.
THE MOST COMMON ANTS THAT SABOTAGE MENTAL HEALTH
Learn to spot the different species of ANTs that create emotional distress and fuel negativity. Here are some of the most common negative thought patterns seen among the tens of thousands of patients at Amen Clinics.
All-or-Nothing
This involves thinking that things are either all good or all bad.
Less-Than ANTs
These ANTs pop up when you compare yourself negatively to others.
Just-the-Bad ANTs
This is when you only see the bad in a situation.
Guilt Beatings
Using “should,” “must,” or “ought to” language that leads to guilt and emotional pressure.
Labeling
Assigning harsh or derogatory names to yourself or others, distorting reality and self-esteem.
Fortune Telling
Predicting the worst-case scenario without real evidence, a common pattern in people with anxiety and panic disorders.
Mind Reading
Assuming you know what other people are thinking even though they haven’t told you, often damaging relationships.
If-Only and I’ll-Be-Happy-When ANTs
Arguing with the past and longing for the future.
Blaming
Shifting responsibility onto others, reinforcing a victim mindset and powerlessness.
MEET YOUR ANTEATER: THE TOOL TO RECLAIM CONTROL OVER YOUR THOUGHTS
To stop negative thinking, you need to develop an internal ANTeater. This is critical for your mental health and well-being. Here’s why.
Just because you have a thought has nothing to do with whether it is true. Thoughts lie. They lie a lot, and it is your uninvestigated or unquestioned thoughts that steal your happiness.
If you do not question or correct your erroneous thoughts, you believe them, and you act as if they are 100% true. Allowing yourself to believe every thought you have is the prescription for anxiety disorders, depression, relationship problems, and prolonged grief.
You can learn to eliminate negative thought patterns and replace them with more helpful thoughts that give you a more accurate, fair assessment of any situation. This skill alone can completely change your life if you embrace and practice it.
Reducing repetitive negative thinking can improve symptoms of anxiety and depression, according to a 2023 study in Psychological Medicine.
Take note, however, that positive thinking is not the answer. It kills way too many people, because they don’t think about the consequences of their actions.
Some anxiety is absolutely critical to good health and success. Pie-in-the-sky thinking and low levels of anxiety are associated with underestimating risks, a lackadaisical attitude toward your health, and making bad decisions.
The best approach is to adopt accurate, honest thinking. To do so, you need to learn to kill the ANTs.
STEP-BY-STEP: HOW TO KILL THE ANTS
The ANT-killing process used at Amen Clinics is based on the work of two mentors:
- Aaron Beck, a psychiatrist who pioneered a school of psychotherapy called cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which is an effective treatment for anxiety disorders, depression, relationship problems, and even obesity
- Byron Katie, a teacher and author who developed the five questions to challenge thoughts
Related: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy? What Is It and Who Can Benefit?
If you want to learn how to challenge negative thoughts, follow these steps. Whenever you feel sad, mad, nervous, or out of control, do the following:
- Write down your automatic negative thoughts. The act of writing down the ANTs helps to get the invaders out of your head.
- Identify the ANT species.
- Ask yourself the following five questions:
- Is it true?
- Is it absolutely true with 100% certainty?
- How do I feel when I believe this thought?
- How would I feel if I couldn’t have this thought?
- Turn the thought around to its exact opposite, and ask, “Is the opposite of the thought true or even truer than the original thought?” Then use this turnaround as a meditation.
Killing the ANTs takes practice. You can’t just do it once and think you’ve mastered your thinking patterns. When you make it a daily practice to question your thoughts, you will feel freer, less anxious and depressed, and less trapped in past hurts or losses.
THE SCIENCE: ANTEATER TRAINING VS. MEDICATION
If you’re looking for antidepressant alternatives, look no further than killing the ANTs. A 50-year retrospective study comparing the impact of cognitive behavioral therapy to antidepressant medication found that CBT is, on average, as effective as antidepressants.
This means that learning how to challenge negative thoughts is just as beneficial as medication for treating depression and anxiety. And as an added bonus, it doesn’t come with any of the common side effects of antidepressants, such as sexual dysfunction, weight gain, and sleep disturbances.
WHY THIS PRACTICE CHANGES EVERYTHING
Eliminating ANTs reduces overwhelm, lifts mood, strengthens relationships, and creates lasting emotional resilience. It’s one of the keys to rewiring the brain for greater positivity and happiness.
FAQ
At Amen Clinics, we define ANTs as automatic negative thoughts (ANTs), those unhelpful, distorted messages your brain sends that fuel anxiety, depression, and emotional pain. These thoughts often happen without your awareness, but with the right tools, you can identify, challenge, and replace them.
The first step is awareness. At Amen Clinics, we teach patients to spot their ANTs, name them (like mind reading or fortune telling), and use logic to “talk back.” This process is part of what we call ANTeater Training a cognitive strategy that helps rewire the brain toward healthier patterns over time.
In many cases, yes. Research shows that learning to identify and challenge negative thought patterns can be just as effective as antidepressants for some people without the side effects. That’s why we include cognitive strategies like ANTeater Training as part of our integrative treatment plans, guided by brain SPECT imaging and your individual needs.
Depression, anxiety, and other mental health conditions can’t wait. At Amen Clinics, we provide personalized, science-backed treatment plans designed to target the root causes of your symptoms. Our 360-approach includes brain SPECT imaging, clinical evaluations, innovative therapeutic techniques, medications (when necessary), and holistic lifestyle recommendations to promote the health of your brain, body, and mind. Speak to a specialist today at 888-288-9834 or visit our contact page here.
Amen Clinics
Founded in 1989 by double-board certified psychiatrist and neuroscientist Daniel G. Amen, MD, Amen Clinics Inc. (ACI) is known as the best brain and mental health company in the world. Our clinical staff includes over 50 healthcare specialists, including adult and child psychiatrists, integrative (functional) medicine physicians, naturopaths, addiction specialists, forensic psychiatrists, geriatric psychiatrists, nutritionists, licensed therapists, and more. Our clinicians have all been hand-selected and personally trained by Dr. Amen, whose mission is to end mental illness by creating a revolution in brain health. Over the last 35-plus years, ACI has built the world’s largest database of functional brain scans—over 250,000 SPECT scans on patients from 155 countries—related to how people think, feel, and behave.
Teasdale, JD. “Negative thinking in depression: Cause, effect, or reciprocal relationship?” Advances in Behaviour Research and Therapy, Volume 5, Issue 1,1983, Pages 3-25,ISSN 0146-6402, https://doi.org/10.1016/0146-6402(83)90013-9.
Bell, Imogen H et al. “The effect of psychological treatment on repetitive negative thinking in youth depression and anxiety: a meta-analysis and meta-regression.” Psychological medicine vol. 53,1 (2023): 6-16. doi:10.1017/S0033291722003373
Chand SP, Kuckel DP, Huecker MR. Cognitive Behavior Therapy. [Updated 2023 May 23]. In: StatPearls [Internet]. Treasure Island (FL): StatPearls Publishing; 2024 Jan-. Available from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK470241/
Katie B and Mitchell S. Loving What Is, Revised Edition: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life; The Revolutionary Process Called “The Work.” (New York: Harmony) 2021. https://www.amazon.com/Loving-What-Revised-Questions-Change/dp/0593234510/ref=sr_1_1
Hollon, S.D., DeRubeis, R.J., Andrews, P.W. et al. Cognitive Therapy in the Treatment and Prevention of Depression: A Fifty-Year Retrospective with an Evolutionary Coda. Cogn Ther Res 45, 402–417 (2021). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10608-020-10132-1
Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs): How to Stop Toxic Thinking and Rewire Your Brain
ANTs are the automatic negative thoughts that make you feel mad, sad, worried, nervous, lonely, or out of control.
Have you ever had an ant infestation in your house? A couple of ants are no big deal, but when there are hundreds or even thousands of them swarming in your kitchen, it can ruin your day. The same goes for ANTs in your mind.
Automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) make you feel mad, sad, worried, nervous, lonely, or out of control. Examples of ANTs include thoughts like:
- “My wife just gave me a look. I don’t think she loves me anymore.”
- “I’ll be happy when I lose 20 pounds.”
- “Everybody in that political party is awful.”
We all have a few ANTs from time to time. That’s normal. However, if you have an infestation of these pesky thoughts inside your head, it could be a sign of mental health problems. ANTs (automatic negative thoughts) can rob you of peace, fuel anxiety, and lead to depression.
Too many automatic negative thoughts means it’s time to do something about your mental hygiene. You need to disinfect your thoughts and kill the ANTs to overcome anxiety, depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), trauma, and grief.
Disinfect your thoughts and kill the ANTs (automatic negative thoughts) to overcome anxiety, depression, trauma, and grief.
THE ORIGIN OF ANTS: DR. AMEN’S PERSONAL DISCOVERY
Psychiatrist Dr. Daniel Amen, the founder of Amen Clinics, coined the term ANTs (automatic negative thoughts) to describe how negativity can infest your brain. The idea for the ANTs Dr. Amen describes came after a hard day at work when he had seen four suicidal patients, two teenagers who ran away from home, and two couples who hated their spouses.
When he went home that evening, he was met with an ant infestation in the kitchen. Thousands of the tiny insects were crawling all over. As he cleaned them up, it made him think that his patients were also infested with ANTs (automatic negative thoughts) that were driving their feelings of depression, hopelessness, helplessness, and irritability.
He realized that if he could teach his patients to eliminate the ANTs, it would help them feel happier, have less anxiety, and be better able to get along with others.
HOW YOUR THOUGHTS AFFECT YOUR BRAIN CHEMISTRY
Every thought you have triggers the release of neurochemicals, which are involved in rewiring your brain.
Negative thoughts cause your brain to immediately release chemicals that affect every cell in your body, making you feel bad. The opposite is also true—positive, happy, hopeful thoughts release chemicals that make you feel good.
Your thought patterns can also have long-term effects. Repetitive toxic thinking may promote the buildup of the harmful deposits seen in the brains of people with Alzheimer’s disease. It may also increase the risk of dementia, according to a 2020 brain-imaging study in the Alzheimer’s & Dementia.
For decades, experts have known that negative thinking is also tightly linked to other mental health disorders, such as clinical depression. In fact, research shows that the reciprocal connection between ruminating thoughts and depression leads to a vicious cycle that prolongs and intensifies symptoms of depression.
ANTs also fuel anxiety, posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), grief, and other mental health issues. Being plagued by worrisome thoughts can make you feel like a negative person and makes it harder to overcome these problems.
THE MOST COMMON ANTS THAT SABOTAGE MENTAL HEALTH
Learn to spot the different species of ANTs that create emotional distress and fuel negativity. Here are some of the most common negative thought patterns seen among the tens of thousands of patients at Amen Clinics.
All-or-Nothing
This involves thinking that things are either all good or all bad.
Less-Than ANTs
These ANTs pop up when you compare yourself negatively to others.
Just-the-Bad ANTs
This is when you only see the bad in a situation.
Guilt Beatings
Using “should,” “must,” or “ought to” language that leads to guilt and emotional pressure.
Labeling
Assigning harsh or derogatory names to yourself or others, distorting reality and self-esteem.
Fortune Telling
Predicting the worst-case scenario without real evidence, a common pattern in people with anxiety and panic disorders.
Mind Reading
Assuming you know what other people are thinking even though they haven’t told you, often damaging relationships.
If-Only and I’ll-Be-Happy-When ANTs
Arguing with the past and longing for the future.
Blaming
Shifting responsibility onto others, reinforcing a victim mindset and powerlessness.
MEET YOUR ANTEATER: THE TOOL TO RECLAIM CONTROL OVER YOUR THOUGHTS
To stop negative thinking, you need to develop an internal ANTeater. This is critical for your mental health and well-being. Here’s why.
Just because you have a thought has nothing to do with whether it is true. Thoughts lie. They lie a lot, and it is your uninvestigated or unquestioned thoughts that steal your happiness.
If you do not question or correct your erroneous thoughts, you believe them, and you act as if they are 100% true. Allowing yourself to believe every thought you have is the prescription for anxiety disorders, depression, relationship problems, and prolonged grief.
You can learn to eliminate negative thought patterns and replace them with more helpful thoughts that give you a more accurate, fair assessment of any situation. This skill alone can completely change your life if you embrace and practice it.
Reducing repetitive negative thinking can improve symptoms of anxiety and depression, according to a 2023 study in Psychological Medicine.
Take note, however, that positive thinking is not the answer. It kills way too many people, because they don’t think about the consequences of their actions.
Some anxiety is absolutely critical to good health and success. Pie-in-the-sky thinking and low levels of anxiety are associated with underestimating risks, a lackadaisical attitude toward your health, and making bad decisions.
The best approach is to adopt accurate, honest thinking. To do so, you need to learn to kill the ANTs.
STEP-BY-STEP: HOW TO KILL THE ANTS
The ANT-killing process used at Amen Clinics is based on the work of two mentors:
- Aaron Beck, a psychiatrist who pioneered a school of psychotherapy called cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which is an effective treatment for anxiety disorders, depression, relationship problems, and even obesity
- Byron Katie, a teacher and author who developed the five questions to challenge thoughts
Related: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy? What Is It and Who Can Benefit?
If you want to learn how to challenge negative thoughts, follow these steps. Whenever you feel sad, mad, nervous, or out of control, do the following:
- Write down your automatic negative thoughts. The act of writing down the ANTs helps to get the invaders out of your head.
- Identify the ANT species.
- Ask yourself the following five questions:
- Is it true?
- Is it absolutely true with 100% certainty?
- How do I feel when I believe this thought?
- How would I feel if I couldn’t have this thought?
- Turn the thought around to its exact opposite, and ask, “Is the opposite of the thought true or even truer than the original thought?” Then use this turnaround as a meditation.
Killing the ANTs takes practice. You can’t just do it once and think you’ve mastered your thinking patterns. When you make it a daily practice to question your thoughts, you will feel freer, less anxious and depressed, and less trapped in past hurts or losses.
THE SCIENCE: ANTEATER TRAINING VS. MEDICATION
If you’re looking for antidepressant alternatives, look no further than killing the ANTs. A 50-year retrospective study comparing the impact of cognitive behavioral therapy to antidepressant medication found that CBT is, on average, as effective as antidepressants.
This means that learning how to challenge negative thoughts is just as beneficial as medication for treating depression and anxiety. And as an added bonus, it doesn’t come with any of the common side effects of antidepressants, such as sexual dysfunction, weight gain, and sleep disturbances.
WHY THIS PRACTICE CHANGES EVERYTHING
Eliminating ANTs reduces overwhelm, lifts mood, strengthens relationships, and creates lasting emotional resilience. It’s one of the keys to rewiring the brain for greater positivity and happiness.
FAQ
What are Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs)?
At Amen Clinics, we define ANTs as automatic negative thoughts (ANTs), those unhelpful, distorted messages your brain sends that fuel anxiety, depression, and emotional pain. These thoughts often happen without your awareness, but with the right tools, you can identify, challenge, and replace them.
How do I stop negative thoughts once they start?
The first step is awareness. At Amen Clinics, we teach patients to spot their ANTs, name them (like mind reading or fortune telling), and use logic to “talk back.” This process is part of what we call ANTeater Training a cognitive strategy that helps rewire the brain toward healthier patterns over time.
Is it true eliminating ANTs works as well as medication?
In many cases, yes. Research shows that learning to identify and challenge negative thought patterns can be just as effective as antidepressants for some people without the side effects. That’s why we include cognitive strategies like ANTeater Training as part of our integrative treatment plans, guided by brain SPECT imaging and your individual needs.
Amen Clinics
Founded in 1989 by double-board certified psychiatrist and neuroscientist Daniel G. Amen, MD, Amen Clinics Inc. (ACI) is known as the best brain and mental health company in the world. Our clinical staff includes over 50 healthcare specialists, including adult and child psychiatrists, integrative (functional) medicine physicians, naturopaths, addiction specialists, forensic psychiatrists, geriatric psychiatrists, nutritionists, licensed therapists, and more. Our clinicians have all been hand-selected and personally trained by Dr. Amen, whose mission is to end mental illness by creating a revolution in brain health. Over the last 35-plus years, ACI has built the world’s largest database of functional brain scans—over 250,000 SPECT scans on patients from 155 countries—related to how people think, feel, and behave.
We're Here To Help
Anxiety, depression, brain fog, and other mental health conditions can’t wait. At Amen Clinics, we provide personalized, science-backed treatment plans designed to target the root causes of your symptoms. Our 360-approach includes brain SPECT imaging, clinical evaluations, innovative therapeutic techniques, medications (when necessary), and holistic lifestyle recommendations to promote the health of your brain, body, and mind. Speak to a specialist today at 888-288-9834 or visit our contact page here.
Centers for Disease Control, Childhood Lead Poisoning Prevention. https://www.cdc.gov/lead-prevention/php/data/index.html
Bouchard MF, Bellinger DC, Weuve J, Matthews-Bellinger J, Gilman SE, Wright RO, Schwartz J, Weisskopf MG. Blood lead levels and major depressive disorder, panic disorder, and generalized anxiety disorder in US young adults. Arch Gen Psychiatry. 2009 Dec;66(12):1313-9. doi: 10.1001/archgenpsychiatry.2009.164. PMID: 19996036; PMCID: PMC2917196.
Reuben A, Schaefer JD, Moffitt TE, Broadbent J, Harrington H, Houts RM, Ramrakha S, Poulton R, Caspi A. Association of Childhood Lead Exposure With Adult Personality Traits and Lifelong Mental Health. JAMA Psychiatry. 2019 Apr 1;76(4):418-425. doi: 10.1001/jamapsychiatry.2018.4192. PMID: 30673063; PMCID: PMC6450277.
Sancar F. Childhood Lead Exposure May Affect Personality, Mental Health in Adulthood. JAMA. 2019;321(15):1445–1446. doi:10.1001/jama.2019.1116
Reuben A, Caspi A, Belsky DW, et al. Association of Childhood Blood Lead Levels With Cognitive Function and Socioeconomic Status at Age 38 Years and With IQ Change and Socioeconomic Mobility Between Childhood and Adulthood. JAMA. 2017;317(12):1244–1251. doi:10.1001/jama.2017.1712
Combs A, Freeland RE, Alfaro Hudak KM, Mumford EA. The effect of occupational status on health: Putting the social in socioeconomic status. Heliyon. 2023 Oct 28;9(11):e21766. doi: 10.1016/j.heliyon.2023.e21766. PMID: 37954338; PMCID: PMC10638021.
World Health Organization. Lead Poisoning. https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/lead-poisoning-and-health
Decades of Leaded Gasoline Tied to U.S. Mental Health Crisis, by Denis Storey, December 10, 2024. https://www.psychiatrist.com/news/decades-of-leaded-gasoline-tied-to-u-s-mental-health-crisis/
McFarland MJ, Hauer ME, Reuben A. Half of US population exposed to adverse lead levels in early childhood. Proc Natl Acad Sci U S A. 2022 Mar 15;119(11):e2118631119. doi: 10.1073/pnas.2118631119. Epub 2022 Mar 7. PMID: 35254913; PMCID: PMC8931364.
How the 18-40-60 Rule Can Conquer Negativity, Anxiety, and Worry
The 18-40-60 Rule can help you stop worrying about what others think, reduce anxiety, and boost confidence. Here’s how it works.
“With age, you figure out that life is too short to waste time thinking about what other people think about you.” That’s what Grammy-Award-winning superstar Christina Aguilera told Health Magazine about turning 40 a few years ago.
She’s not alone. A survey of 2,000 older adults found that 72% of them felt more content and more comfortable in their own skin when they hit their 40s and stopped worrying about what other people think of them.
These people may not be aware of it, but they’re prime examples of the most life-changing rule you never learned.
As a child, you likely memorized the Golden Rule, which says, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” (Matthew 7:12). It’s an essential tenet of living an ethical life.
However, according to the psychiatrists and brain health experts at Amen Clinics, there’s another rule that is just as important. But you’ve probably never heard about it.
It’s called the 18-40-60 rule. When you’re 18, you worry about what everybody is thinking of you. When you’re 40, you don’t give a darn what anybody thinks of you. When you’re 60, you realize nobody’s been thinking about you at all.
That’s because most people spend their days worrying and thinking about themselves, not you. Research shows that others don’t judge our failings and missteps as harshly as we believe.
Learn the 18-40-60 rule. When you're 18, you worry about what everybody is thinking of you. When you're 40, you don't give a darn what anybody thinks of you. When you're 60, you realize nobody's been thinking about you at all.
This single piece of insight into human nature is so powerful it can literally change your life. It can help you reduce negativity, anxiety, and worry while increasing self-esteem, joy, and overall happiness.
Here’s how to put this rule into action in your own life no matter how old you are.
WHY YOU WORRY ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK OF YOU
There’s good reason why we are concerned about how other people view us. Social relationships are critical to our health, happiness, and overall well-being.
In fact, studies have found that close relationships are the most consistent predictor of happiness. For example, a decades-long study by Harvard University concluded that meaningful social connections have a more powerful influence on health and happiness than money or success.
Neuroimaging studies reveal that negative feedback leads to chemical responses in the brain. Other scientific findings indicate that fear of criticism is heightened in people who struggle with social anxiety.
Indeed, some people become overly concerned about what other people think of them. You may be one of them.
For example, are you one of those people who spends a lot of time fretting about what to wear at work or on Zoom calls? Do you replay every stupid thing you said in a meeting or a conversation and think of what you should have said instead?
On social media, do you only post the most flattering images of yourself or add filters to hide what you perceive as flaws so others will find you more attractive and likeable?
Constantly seeking validation from others or worrying what your friends, family, coworkers, and social media followers think of you can be exhausting.
It makes us more critical of ourselves, causes us to focus on our flaws (real or perceived), and zaps our self-confidence. Ultimately, it’s a recipe for unhappiness and leads to toxic perfectionism.
With social media, this issue has become inflated. And teens and young adults especially are more concerned than ever with what others think. Not getting enough “likes” or comments on a post can send people into a tailspin of negative thoughts that contribute to mental health conditions, including symptoms of anxiety and depression.
According to the latest statistics, more than one in five adolescents say they’ve experienced symptoms of depression or anxiety. Even more alarming is the fact that suicide rates among those ages 10-24 increased 62% from 2007 to 2021.
Some people are so concerned about how others view them they have what’s called rejection sensitive dysphoria. This condition, which is often associated with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), is characterized by having severe emotional reactions to the slightest critiques.
Being overly concerned about letting others down can be so detrimental that it holds you back and prevents you from taking chances in life.
HOW NEGATIVE THINKING INCREASES WORRYING ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK OF YOU
When you’re overly concerned with how other people perceive you, it can fill your mind with automatic negative thoughts, or ANTs. The same way an infestation of ants can ruin a picnic a barrage of ANTs can ruin your day.
At Amen Clinics, the brain heath experts have identified nine types of ANTs, including a type called Mind-Reading ANTs.
These negative thoughts make you believe you can know what others are thinking and feeling without them saying anything. When you have Mind-Reading ANTs you may think, “Everyone thinks I am stupid,” or “They are laughing at me.”
Even trained psychiatrists with 25 years of education can’t know what anyone else is thinking unless they ask. A glance in your direction doesn’t mean somebody is talking about you or mad at you. A negative look from someone else may mean nothing more than he or she is constipated! You just don’t know.
Trying to read people’s minds can fill you with more negativity and worries about what they are thinking. It’s a vicious cycle that keeps you mired in anxious thoughts.
CONQUER NEGATIVE THINKING WITH THE 18-40-60 RULE
It’s a shame the 18-40-60 rule isn’t taught in schools. Think how much happier and less stressed you might have been if you had known this earlier.
Fortunately, you don’t have to wait until your 60th birthday to put 18-40-60 rule into practice. You can implement it in your life at any age. When you keep this rule in mind, it helps you eliminate those pesky Mind-Reading ANTs.
Whenever the idea pops into your head that someone else thinks you aren’t good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, or funny enough, ask yourself if it’s true or just an ANT.
In addition, post the 18-40-60 rule somewhere you can see it every day—by your computer, in the Notes app on your phone, or on a little piece of paper in your handbag, backpack, or wallet.
The next time you start worrying about what other people are thinking about you, look at it and remind yourself that most people are thinking about themselves, not about you.
We're Here To Help
Depression, anxiety, and other mental health conditions can’t wait. At Amen Clinics, we’re here for you. We offer in-clinic brain scanning and appointments, as well as mental telehealth, clinical evaluations, and therapy for adults, teens, children, and couples. Find out more by speaking to a specialist today at 888-288-9834 or visit our contact page here.
Amen Clinics
Founded in 1989 by double-board certified psychiatrist and neuroscientist Daniel G. Amen, MD, Amen Clinics Inc. (ACI) is known as the best brain and mental health company in the world. Our clinical staff includes over 50 healthcare specialists, including adult and child psychiatrists, integrative (functional) medicine physicians, naturopaths, addiction specialists, forensic psychiatrists, geriatric psychiatrists, nutritionists, licensed therapists, and more. Our clinicians have all been hand-selected and personally trained by Dr. Amen, whose mission is to end mental illness by creating a revolution in brain health. Over the last 35-plus years, ACI has built the world’s largest database of functional brain scans—over 250,000 SPECT scans on patients from 155 countries—related to how people think, feel, and behave.
Good News Network. 72% of Brits Feel More Content When They Finally Stop Worrying About What People Think of Them in Their 40s, April 30, 2021. https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/poll-onepoll-brits-become-confident-at-46/
Savitsky, K., Epley, N., & Gilovich, T. (2001). Do others judge us as harshly as we think? Overestimating the impact of our failures, shortcomings, and mishaps. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 81(1), 44–56. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.81.1.44
Shimon Saphire-Bernstein. Close Relationships and Happiness. January 2013
doi:10.1093/oxfordhb/9780199557257.013.0060
Mineo, L. Good genes are nice, but joy is better. The Harvard Gazette. April 11, 2017. https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2017/04/over-nearly-80-years-harvard-study-has-been-showing-how-to-live-a-healthy-and-happy-life/
Miedl, SF et al. Criticism hurts everybody, praise only some: Common and specific neural responses to approving and disapproving social-evaluative videos. NeuroImage, Volume 132, 15 May 2016, Pages 138-147. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.neuroimage.2016.02.027
Birk, Samantha L et al. “Neural responses to social evaluation: The role of fear of positive and negative evaluation.” Journal of anxiety disorders vol. 67 (2019): 102114. doi:10.1016/j.janxdis.2019.102114
KFF. Roughly 1 in 5 Adolescents Report Experiencing Symptoms of Anxiety or Depression. Feb 6, 2024. https://www.kff.org/coronavirus-covid-19/press-release/roughly-1-in-5-adolescents-report-experiencing-symptoms-of-anxiety-or-depression/
Brian Tsai, Suicide and Homicide Rates Increase Among Young Americans. CDC, June 15, 2023. https://blogs.cdc.gov/nchs/2023/06/15/7396/
Related Posts
Can Brain SPECT Imaging Help Identify ADHD? What a Scan Reveals
Facebook-f X-twitter Youtube TLDR; ADHD is a brain-based disorder that is frequently misdiagnosed or undetected for years because its symptoms overlap with dozens of other
BRAIN-BASED MENTAL HEALTH DISORDERS THAT INCREASE NEGATIVE SELF-TALK
Negative self-talk is strongly linked to mental health issues, such as ADD/ADHD, depression, anxiety, and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), among others. The brain SPECT imaging work at Amen Clinics shows that these psychiatric conditions are really brain health issues that can fuel negativity. Here’s a deeper look at the connection between negative thinking, brain health, and mental health.- ADD/ADHD: For people with ADD/ADHD, negative beliefs about their self-worth and capabilities are far too common. They become ingrained due to continual frustrations at school, at work, and in relationships. For example, an ADD/ADHD child or teen may believe they’ll fail in school, so they’ll give up trying. Or ADD/ADHD adults may tell themselves they are unlovable because they impulsively start arguments or say unkind things to their loved ones.
- Depression: Individuals who are depressed are often mired in thoughts of hopelessness and helplessness. They can feel empty and tend to focus on the negative in most situations. They see the glass as half empty rather than half full.
- Anxiety: People who are filled with anxious thoughts tend to feel tense, nervous, and panicky. Once anxious thoughts pop up in their heads, they can quickly multiply. These people tend to predict the worst, anticipating negative outcomes when there’s no evidence to support these notions. Ultimately, it makes people with anxiety doubt their abilities and fills them with a fear of failure that keeps them from taking chances in life.
- OCD: People with OCD tend to be worriers and hold on to hurts from the past. They have trouble shifting their attention, so these negative thoughts run on a loop in their mind. This rumination can rob them of happiness and keep them stuck in a sea of negativity. Chronic worrying can increase stress and cause physical symptoms, such as headaches, stomachaches, and muscle tension.
WHAT ARE THE CONSEQUENCES OF NEGATIVE SELF-TALK?
Negative self-talk impacts us in numerous harmful ways, and it all starts in the brain. Your brain is always listening and reacting to every single one of your thoughts. Your thoughts are based on numerous factors, such as sensory input, past experiences, the foods you eat, gut bacteria, and your brain health. When you have a happy thought, it triggers your brain to release chemicals that affect all of the cells within your body, making you feel good. When you have a negative thought, however, your brain releases chemicals that make you feel bad. Having a few negative thoughts once in a while is normal, but when your thought patterns are predominantly negative, it can have long-term impacts. Rumination and self-blame are associated with increased risk for mental health conditions, according to a study in Plos One. Negativity, worries, and stressful thoughts can also exacerbate existing psychiatric issues. And they can even lead to cognitive problems and memory loss. For example, brain-imaging research in Alzheimer’s & Dementia shows that repetitive negative thinking may be involved in the accumulation of damaging brain deposits typically found in individuals with Alzheimer’s disease and may heighten the odds of developing dementia.9 COMMON TYPES OF NEGATIVE SELF-TALK
There are many forms of negative self-talk. Some of the most common types of gloomy, pessimistic, defeatist, and unhelpful phrases we tell ourselves include the following:- All-or-Nothing: When you tell yourself that people, situations, or relationships are either all good or all bad
- Less-Than: When you compare yourself to others and think that you aren’t as good as others
- Just-the-Bad: When you only see the bad in situations, people, or relationships
- Guilt-Beating: When you talk to yourself using words like should, must, ought, or have to
- Labeling: When you attach negative labels to yourself or someone
- Fortune-Telling: When you predict the worst possible outcome for a situation with little or no evidence for it
- Mind-Reading: When you believe you know what other people are thinking—and you generally assume they’re thinking something unkind about you—even though they haven’t told you what they are actually thinking
- If-Only and I’ll-Be-Happy-When: When you argue with the past and long for the future rather than making the most of the present
- Blaming: When you blame others for your problems, or conversely, when you blame yourself for others’ problems
5 STEPS TO ELIMINATE NEGATIVE SELF-TALK
Defeating the negative self-talk that infests your mind takes work, but there is a simple technique that can help you learn to manage your mind. Here are 5 steps to combat negative thinking:- Whenever an automatic negative thought enters your mind, train yourself to recognize it and write it down. This helps get the thought out of your mind.
- Identify the type of negative thought.
- Ask yourself if the thought is true.
- Ask yourself how the thought makes you feel, and how you would feel if you didn’t have that thought.
- Turn the thought around to its opposite and ask yourself if this new thought might be more true than your original thought. Find evidence that supports this new thought.
NEGATIVITY AND BRAIN DEVELOPMENT
Negativity is rooted in brain development. Simply put, the brain has two hemispheres:- The right hemisphere is more involved with feelings, imagination, and intuition.
- The left hemisphere is more responsible for language, math, and logic.
NEGATIVE EMOTIONS IN THE BRAIN
One of the key reasons why people tend to be negative is because the right hemisphere—the side that is more negatively oriented—typically develops before the left hemisphere. Considering that the right hemisphere comes into play first, youngsters view the world through that negative lens. Without the left hemisphere’s strengths, they don’t have the logic to override those early perceptions. Because of this, children grow with negativity as a foundation. After the left hemisphere has come into the picture, children pick up new tools—language, and logic—to cope with negative emotions. However, that base of negativity has already been rooted in their worldview. Early life experiences that are negative can color a person’s overall outlook on life.HOW THE BRAIN’S MEMORY SYSTEMS IMPACT NEGATIVITY
The way the brain forms memories also encodes us with a negative slant. In simple terms, humans have two memory systems—implicit and explicit.- Implicit memory system: Also called non-declarative memory, this is when you don’t have to think consciously to remember how to do things, such as how to button a shirt, ride a bike, or drive a car. This memory system also involves a region of the brain called the amygdala, which is thought of as the fear center. The amygdala plays a role in the formation of emotional memories, such as those stemming from dangerous or threatening situations. These emotionally charged memories remain fixed.
- Explicit memory system: When you consciously try to memorize something, like a complex math equation, it’s called explicit memory, or declarative memory. This type of memory is dependent on the hippocampus, which is located in the temporal lobes. Unlike the amygdala, which tends to be rigid and fixed, the hippocampus is more changeable, meaning people can acquire new knowledge and forget whatever is unimportant.
5 WAYS TO MANAGE NEGATIVITY
To overcome a negative mindset, which is often seen in people with too much activity in the limbic system, you need to balance the brain. The following techniques to manage negativity help calm the limbic system, which is the brain’s emotional center to change the brain’s default mode from negative to more positive.1. Distance yourself from your thoughts.
The brain creates our thoughts, and it does so automatically. If you can remember that you’re not your brain, you can gain psychological distance from the negative noise in your head. One strategy is to give your mind a name. That way, if your mind has a different name than yours, it helps differentiate it from you.2. Divert your attention.
When negative thoughts start looping in your head, distract yourself by engaging in something engrossing that you love, such as doing a crossword puzzle, listening to a podcast, or throwing a frisbee around with a friend or family member.3. Practice gratitude.
Get in touch with what you’re thankful for. Keep a pad of paper nearby and whenever you’re feeling down, write three things for which you’re grateful.4. Stop “should-ing” on yourself.
If you get caught up in a torrent of “shoulds”—”I should do this…I should do that…”—stop! Notice when you start should-ing on yourself and break the habit.5. Anchor happy memories into your daily life.
Write down 10 to 20 of the best memories of your life and then anchor them to specific places in your home, using all of your senses. Whenever you feel upset, imagine walking through your home, reliving your happiest memories. With a little practice, you can train your brain to feel great, almost in an instant. With practice, you can learn to manage your negativity so you can achieve a brighter, more positive outlook. Negativity, depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues can’t wait. At Amen Clinics, we’re here for you. We offer in-clinic brain scanning and appointments, as well as mental telehealth, clinical evaluations, and therapy for adults, teens, children, and couples. Find out more by speaking to a specialist today at 888-288-9834 or visit our contact page here. As our society opens up again following the pandemic, feelings of social anxiety are understandably on the rise. Adolescents and teens are heading back to the classroom after months and months of online learning. Adults are returning to offices after working from home for a lengthy period. And social gatherings are making a comeback—from dinner parties to weddings to large-scale concerts and sporting events. It all adds up to increased anxiousness about socializing. For some people, it’s debilitating. When uncomfortable anxious feelings persist or intensify, it’s a sign of trouble. When you routinely avoid meeting new people or your fears and worries interfere with daily life, it’s an indicator of social anxiety disorder, also known as social phobia. When you routinely avoid meeting new people or your fears and worries interfere with daily life, it’s an indicator of social anxiety disorder, also known as social phobia. Social phobias are the most common form of phobia, affecting an estimated 15 million adults in the U.S. Social anxiety disorder involves intense self-consciousness in social situations and worry that others are watching and judging you. This can disrupt everyday activities and makes it challenging to develop and maintain friendships and relationships.WHAT IS SOCIAL ANXIETY DISORDER?
Social anxiety disorder is a mental health condition that involves intense and irrational fears of being criticized or judged, debilitating anxiousness, and deep shame or embarrassment. These distressing emotions are so strong they interfere with everyday living and get in the way of relationships, school, and career success. Ultimately, they can keep you from reaching your potential in life. How does this differ from ordinary shyness? Depending on personality types, some people are less outgoing and more reserved than others. People who are shy may prefer solitary hobbies and working independently, however, shyness doesn’t negatively impact their life. For those with social anxiety, even routine situations—such as eating in front of others, asking for directions, or using a public restroom—can ramp up feelings of angst.SYMPTOMS OF SOCIAL ANXIETY
There are many physical, psychological, and behavioral signs and symptoms of social anxiety disorder. Physical symptoms include:- A rapid heartbeat
- Feeling lightheaded or dizzy
- Shaking or trembling
- Perspiring
- Blushing
- Feeling nauseous
- Trouble speaking or only being able to speak in a very soft voice
- A rigid body stance
- Feeling like your mind has “gone blank”
- Intense fear of situations where you might be judged negatively
- Trying to blend into the background
- Feeling self-conscious in the presence of others
- Avoiding eye contact
- Worrying excessively about upcoming social events
- Using alcohol or drugs to cope with distress in social situations
- Skipping school or work to avoid uncomfortable situations
- Repeatedly declining invitations to social events
WHAT CAUSES SOCIAL ANXIETY?
As is the case with many other mental health conditions, social anxiety is believed to be caused by a combination of biological and environmental factors.- Family history: Mental health issues such as anxiety disorders tend to run in families. Researchers are still investigating how genetics may be involved in the process.
- Brain function: The brain SPECT imaging work at Amen Clinics shows that overactivity in an area of the brain called the basal ganglia is associated with anxiety. The basal ganglia are involved in integrating feelings, thoughts, and movements. This region plays a role in why you tremble when you’re nervous, freeze when you’re frightened, or get tongue-tied on a date. When there is too much activity in the basal ganglia, people are more likely to be anxious or overwhelmed in stressful situations. Overactivity in the amygdala, the brain’s fear center, is also linked to increased risk anxiety and social phobia.
- Anxious role models: Experts believe that social anxiety may be a learned trait, especially if a person’s parents modeled anxious behavior in social settings.
- Negative experiences: Adverse childhood experiences—such as emotional, physical, or sexual abuse; family conflict; or being bullied, rejected, or teased—may contribute to the development of social anxiety. Experiencing extremely embarrassing moments or deep humiliation can also play a role in the onset of social phobia.
CONSEQUENCES OF UNTREATED SOCIAL PHOBIA
When social anxiety disorder remains untreated, it can have devastating consequences in important areas of your life. It can negatively impact your relationships and family life, your career, schoolwork, and overall happiness. In particular, untreated social phobia can lead to:- Self-esteem issues
- Negative thinking patterns
- Isolation and loneliness
- Fear of failure
- Substance abuse
- Suicidal thoughts and behaviors
OVERCOMING SOCIAL ANXIETY DISORDER
If you have social anxiety disorder, there is hope for healing. Taking a comprehensive bio-psycho-social-spiritual approach to treatment is important.- Biological: Eat a healthy diet and avoid caffeine and sugary foods that can increase anxiousness. Also, have your healthcare provider check your thyroid levels as imbalances with this important hormone can be associated with anxiety.
- Psychological: Several forms of psychotherapy can be beneficial in treating this condition. For example, cognitive behavioral therapy can help you retrain your brain to think, act, and react differently in social situations. Learning to “Kill the ANTs,” the automatic negative thoughts that infest your mind and ruin your day, is a powerful strategy to change unhelpful thinking patterns. In addition, treating any co-existing mental health conditions is key to overcoming social phobia.
- Social: Talk about your fears and worries with a trusted friend or family member.
- Spiritual: Having a deep sense of passion and purpose can lead to an overall sense of calm. When you feel anxious, focus on meaningful and goal-directed activities.