Navigating Relationships as a Neurodivergent Adult

SOCIAL CHALLENGES IN NEURODIVERGENT ADULTS

Thanks to emerging research, we know that neurodivergent brains are simply wired differently. The American Psychiatric Association notes that neurodivergence can describe multiple conditions, including:

• Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)
• Autism spectrum disorder (ASD)
• Tourette syndrome
• Dyslexia
• Dyspraxia
• Dysphonia
• Synesthesia
• Other behavioral and neurobiological differences

In addition, these can be complex disorders. For example, brain-imaging research at Amen Clinics shows there are seven types of ADHD, also known as attention deficit disorder (ADD), as well as eight to 10 suspected factors influencing ASD (which can be categorized into high and low activity patterns).

Related: Getting Treatment for 7 Types of ADHD eBook

Each type and each individual has their own brain patterns and symptoms. However, neurodivergence in general can affect relationships in multiple ways.

ADHD Social Challenges

ADHD can create problems with attention, focus, impulsivity and hyperactivity. Resulting behavior issues can disrupt social development and peer interactions.

Procrastination, disorganization, and lack of follow-through can also frustrate friends, workmates, and partners. Here are some additional ways ADHD can negatively impact relationships:

• Sensitivity to touch
• Moodiness or easily becoming frustrated
• Tendency to create problems
• Restlessness or anxiety
• Speaking without thinking

Because of these issues, the ADHD experts at Amen Clinics say that ADHD and relationship conflict often go together.

Related: How Can ADHD Affect Your Love Life and Relationships?

AUTISM Social Challenges

Autism is associated with deficiencies in social and communication skills, as well as limited and repetitive behaviors and interests. In many cases, ASD is accompanied by developmental disabilities, including intellectual and language impairments.

Some of these symptoms can make relationships more challenging. This includes difficulties with nonverbal communication, like understanding social cues and reading facial expressions. It may also be difficult for those with autism to engage in or initiate communication with others.

However, a study published in Autism established that, when communicating with other autistic people, they possessed “the skills to share information well with one another and experience good rapport.”

But in mixed groups (which included non-autistic people), there was less information shared, as well as less rapport. This may suggest an ability to communicate better in situations where they are (or feel) more understood.

Another study, published in a 2025 issue of Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews, evaluated social cognition in both autism and ADHD. Its author explained that those with autism tend to have different performance on social cognition tests versus neurotypical subjects.

The study notes that this difference in social cognition relates to implicit processing (automatic cognitive processes) in those with autism. But those with ADHD—who tend to achieve “intermediate” performance on social cognition tests—are more affected by difficulties with their executive functioning.

Fortunately, interventions like appropriate medication for ADHD and social skills building for those with autism have been shown to improve social performance. It also seems to improve with age.

5 RELATIONSHIP TIPS FOR NEURODIVERSE ADULTS

In recent years, neurodiversity advocates have pointed out that rather than seeing these traits as “wrong,” they can simply be considered different. Therefore, both partners in a neurodivergent relationship should hone their interpersonal skills with their different needs in mind.

Here are some relationship strategies for neurodiverse individuals. Further below, you’ll learn how to help support a neurodivergent partner.

1. Care for your brain.

All partners—not just neurodivergent individuals—will benefit from taking steps toward creating a healthier brain. And so will their relationships. Some easy tips to maximize brain health include: 

• Consume adequate nutrients (modified for your particular condition, if needed, such as an ADD-friendly diet or an elimination diet for autism)
• Increase blood flow to the brain, reduce stress, and boost mood with deep breathing and physical activity, such as yoga
• Avoid excessive screen time (too much exposure has been linked with symptoms of both autism and ADD)

2. Prioritize together time.

Those with conditions like ADHD and autism benefit from establishing routines. Setting aside specific times to spend with your partner can reduce anxiety, help with schedule management, and create needed structure.

3. Share your story when it feels safe.

One of the best communication tips for neurodiverse individuals is to share your story. Only you can decide what and when to disclose with partners when it comes to your health, including any mental health challenges you face.

But, when you feel safe doing so, sharing your story with a friend or romantic partner allows them to better support you.

4. Make a movement date.

Exercise is imperative for everyone, but it can be especially helpful for neurodivergent individuals. Schedule time with your partner to go for a walk, run, or bike ride. You’ll both benefit from a shared, health-boosting activity—and become closer in the process.

5. Practice extra caution around sexual activity.

A 2023 systematic review found that those with ADHD and autism are prone to “poorer psychosexual functioning…including a lack of satisfaction in their sexual relationships, sexual dysfunction, risky sexual behaviors, and victimization.” These issues appear to be more prominent among females.

Researchers advise dialogue between clinicians and their neurodivergent patients about these potential pitfalls. Therefore, you may want to discuss with your doctor topics such as sexuality, risky behaviors, and adopting safe sexual health practices to prevent negative outcomes.

SUPPORTING YOUR NEURODIVERGENT PARTNER

Learning more about your partner’s type of neurodiversity is a great start in understanding them better. And, because each individual is unique, opening a nonjudgmental dialogue is also crucial. Taking turns sharing and listening will help establish empathy on both sides.

There are also general steps you can take according to your partner’s condition. For example, the brain health experts and mental health professionals at Amen Clinics have found that the following tactics may help an autistic partner feel safer in a relationship:

• Understand and be patient with their preferences
• When speaking, allow extra time for them to process the information
• Make instructions simple and clear
• Be open to all forms of communication, in addition to verbal
• Keep in mind that behavior is a legitimate way of communicating

Meanwhile, the experts at Amen Clinics recommend the following ways to support those with ADHD:

• Avoid “overhelping” your partner—instead, support their independence
• Practice patience
• Adjust your expectations, but establish responsibilities for each partner
• Create and maintain healthy boundaries
• Practice your own self-care

Finally, remember that different types of neurodivergence can overlap. For example, one 2019 review found that autism and ADHD co-occurred in 21% of subjects. And these conditions can also coincide with mental health issues, like depression and anxiety.

OPTIMIZING NEURODIVERGENT ADULT RELATIONSHIPS

Regardless of the symptoms or condition(s) present, neurodivergent relationships can be optimized by employing many of the same tactics that promote health in all relationships.

When both partners cultivate care, open communication, and empathy, they will enjoy plentiful rewards—and minimize misunderstandings—as they deepen their bond.