How to Focus & Stay Present In Situations Within Your Control
So often we worry about things in life and situations that are out of our control.
When you are stuck on a negative story about yourself, someone, or something, ask yourself:
• Whose business are you in?
• In your story, your internal drama, whose affairs are you concerned with? Yours? Someone else? The Universe’s?
What Can We Control?
We can really only change ourselves, and even that is difficult. We’ll never know what is best for others. Can you really know that someone should go to college, even your children? Some people do not attend college and have wonderful and successful lives, sometimes contributing much to society. If your child isn’t inclined to try college right then, so be it. It’s the child’s decision, and it should a decision they make after you helped them think it through.
In the case of the college decision, it’s not your business after you helped the child think it through, it’s the child’s business. But what about God’s or the universe’s business? Well, that has to do with situations like whether you have a stroke, or whether a meteor falls on your house. You owe it to yourself and your family to try to remain as healthy as you can and take care of yourself, but that might not be enough—you still could have a stroke.
Many factors of life are beyond our realm of control and worry. Natural disasters, accidents, life decisions, raising children, growing old, etc. are matters in life where we may only play a small role, if at all. The world will continue to turn with us, and us with it.
Here are some additional tips to stay focused on the things you can control:
1. Learn to postpone worrying by creating a ‘worry’ journal
2. Ask yourself if the problem is solvable
3. Distinguish between solvable and unsolvable feelings
4. Accept uncertainty
5. Challenge anxious thoughts, kill the ANTs!
Focusing on whose business we are in helps us focus on what we can control, usually only ourselves, and helps us move away from being stuck on the things we can’t control. Contact us today at 888-288-9834, or visit us online.