Gain Control Over Negative Self-Talk

Content updated from previous publish date.

“I’m so stupid.”
“I’m always messing things up.”
“No one will ever love me.”

Does this sound like your inner critic? We all have a little voice in our head that whispers—or screams—to us throughout the day. Sometimes, our inner thoughts help us make better decisions so we can keep on track toward our goals. Other times, however, our inner critic kicks into overdrive and spews automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) that are toxic. Negativity is common, but it is especially prevalent in people with mental health issues. This negative self-talk can dampen our moods, ignite stress and anxiety, and hold us back from achieving our dreams.

If you’re riddled with ANTs, you can learn to fight back. Here are some of the most common types of negative thoughts, how they damage your mindset, and a simple 5-step technique to eliminate negative thinking patterns.

BRAIN-BASED MENTAL HEALTH DISORDERS THAT INCREASE NEGATIVE SELF-TALK

Negative self-talk is strongly linked to mental health issues, such as ADD/ADHD, depression, anxiety, and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), among others. The brain SPECT imaging work at Amen Clinics shows that these psychiatric conditions are really brain health issues that can fuel negativity. Here’s a deeper look at the connection between negative thinking, brain health, and mental health.

• ADD/ADHD: For people with ADD/ADHD, negative beliefs about their self-worth and capabilities are far too common. They become ingrained due to continual frustrations at school, at work, and in relationships. For example, an ADD/ADHD child or teen may believe they’ll fail in school, so they’ll give up trying. Or ADD/ADHD adults may tell themselves they are unlovable because they impulsively start arguments or say unkind things to their loved ones.

These individuals also often have to endure harsh critiques from others who don’t understand that ADD/ADHD brains work differently. The brain SPECT imaging work at Amen Clinics shows that low activity in the prefrontal cortex is common in people with ADD/ADHD. This region is involved with focus, attention, impulse control, and follow-through, and when activity is too low, it is associated with trouble in these areas, which can lead to negative thoughts about oneself.

• Depression: Individuals who are depressed are often mired in thoughts of hopelessness and helplessness. They can feel empty and tend to focus on the negative in most situations. They see the glass as half empty rather than half full.

SPECT scans at Amen Clinics show that the emotional centers of the brain—called the limbic system—are often overactive in people with depression. This heightened activity is associated with increased negativity.

• Anxiety: People who are filled with anxious thoughts tend to feel tense, nervous, and panicky. Once anxious thoughts pop up in their heads, they can quickly multiply. These people tend to predict the worst, anticipating negative outcomes when there’s no evidence to support these notions. Ultimately, it makes people with anxiety doubt their abilities and fills them with a fear of failure that keeps them from taking chances in life.

On SPECT scans, anxiousness is associated with overactivity in the basal ganglia, important structures deep in the brain. They are involved in setting the body’s anxiety level, and when activity is too high it increases anxious and stressful thoughts.

• OCD: People with OCD tend to be worriers and hold on to hurts from the past. They have trouble shifting their attention, so these negative thoughts run on a loop in their mind. This rumination can rob them of happiness and keep them stuck in a sea of negativity. Chronic worrying can increase stress and cause physical symptoms, such as headaches, stomachaches, and muscle tension.

Brain SPECT imaging shows that too much activity in an area of the brain called the anterior cingulate gyrus is common in people with OCD. This is associated with rigid thinking and cognitive inflexibility, both of which keep people locked into their negative thinking patterns.

WHAT ARE THE CONSEQUENCES OF NEGATIVE SELF-TALK?

Negative self-talk impacts us in numerous harmful ways, and it all starts in the brain. Your brain is always listening and reacting to every single one of your thoughts. Your thoughts are based on numerous factors, such as sensory input, past experiences, the foods you eat, gut bacteria, and your brain health. When you have a happy thought, it triggers your brain to release chemicals that affect all of the cells within your body, making you feel good.  When you have a negative thought, however, your brain releases chemicals that make you feel bad.

Having a few negative thoughts once in a while is normal, but when your thought patterns are predominantly negative, it can have long-term impacts. Rumination and self-blame are associated with increased risk for mental health conditions, according to a study in Plos One. Negativity, worries, and stressful thoughts can also exacerbate existing psychiatric issues. And they can even lead to cognitive problems and memory loss. For example, brain-imaging research in Alzheimer’s & Dementia shows that repetitive negative thinking may be involved in the accumulation of damaging brain deposits typically found in individuals with Alzheimer’s disease and may heighten the odds of developing dementia.

9 COMMON TYPES OF NEGATIVE SELF-TALK

There are many forms of negative self-talk. Some of the most common types of gloomy, pessimistic, defeatist, and unhelpful phrases we tell ourselves include the following:

1. All-or-Nothing: When you tell yourself that people, situations, or relationships are either all good or all bad
2. Less-Than: When you compare yourself to others and think that you aren’t as good as others
3. Just-the-Bad: When you only see the bad in situations, people, or relationships
4. Guilt-Beating: When you talk to yourself using words like should, must, ought, or have to
5. Labeling: When you attach negative labels to yourself or someone
6. Fortune-Telling: When you predict the worst possible outcome for a situation with little or no evidence for it
7. Mind-Reading: When you believe you know what other people are thinking—and you generally assume they’re thinking something unkind about you—even though they haven’t told you what they are actually thinking
8. If-Only and I’ll-Be-Happy-When: When you argue with the past and long for the future rather than making the most of the present
9. Blaming: When you blame others for your problems, or conversely, when you blame yourself for others’ problems

5 STEPS TO ELIMINATE NEGATIVE SELF-TALK

Defeating the negative self-talk that infests your mind takes work, but there is a simple technique that can help you learn to manage your mind. Here are 5 steps to combat negative thinking:

1. Whenever an automatic negative thought enters your mind, train yourself to recognize it and write it down. This helps get the thought out of your mind.
2. Identify the type of negative thought.
3. Ask yourself if the thought is true.
4. Ask yourself how the thought makes you feel, and how you would feel if you didn’t have that thought.
5. Turn the thought around to its opposite and ask yourself if this new thought might be more true than your original thought. Find evidence that supports this new thought.

When you learn to become aware of negative thoughts and challenge them, you can begin to eliminate negative self-talk and speak to yourself in a kinder, more positive way that gives you more confidence, improves self-esteem, and motivates you to reach your goals.

ADD/ADHD, depression, anxiety, OCD, and other mental health issues can’t wait. At Amen Clinics, we’re here for you. We offer in-clinic brain scanning and appointments, as well as mental telehealth, clinical evaluations, and therapy for adults, teens, children, and couples. Find out more by speaking to a specialist today at 888-288-9834 or visit our contact page here.