WHAT IS SEX ADDICTION?

Sex addition goes by many names including sexual addiction, compulsive sexual behavior, sexual compulsivity, sexual impulsivity, problematic sexual behavior, hypersexuality, and hypersexuality disorder.

The addiction involves sexual activities—such as having multiple partners, masturbation, pornography, phone sex, cybersex, and more. It becomes compulsive sexual behavior when these activities, thoughts, and fantasies take over an individual’s life.

A sex addict typically exhibits a persistent pattern of being unable to control strong, repetitive, sexual desires and urges, which leads to repetitive sexual behavior that causes intense distress and disruption of daily functioning.

It’s common for a sex addict to continue engaging in compulsive sexual behavior knowing its negative consequences or despite getting minimal pleasure from the behavior.

Estimates of the prevalence of sexual addiction vary. However, recent epidemiological research estimates that roughly 8.6% of U.S. adults (7.0% of women and 10.3% of men) perceive themselves to have difficulty “controlling their sexual feelings, urges, and behaviors in a way that causes distress and/or impairment in their psychosocial functioning.” That means about 23 million U.S. adults struggle with sex addiction.

Co-occurring mental health disorders are also quite common among individuals with hypersexuality. Roughly 88% of sex addicts may also suffer from one of the following disorders, research has found:

• Attention deficit-hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)
• Anxiety disorders
• Mood disorders (depression, bipolar disorder, etc.)
• Personality disorders
• Suicidality
• Other addictive disorders
• Impulse control disorders
• Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)

WHAT ARE THE SIGNS OF SEX ADDICTION?

How do you know if you or a loved one is a sex addict? There are no established criteria for compulsive sexual behavior disorder yet. That said, one or more of the following behaviors is common among sex addicts:

• Obsession With Sex – Spending countless hours fantasizing about sexual desires and engaging in sexual behavior.
• Frequent Masturbation – Masturbating once to several times daily.
• Pornography – Spending an inordinate amount of time viewing pornography online, in videos, and magazines. Frequently masturbating when watching.
• Excessive Time Spent Planning Sexual Activity
• Engaging in Unethical Sexual Behaviors – This might be serial cheating or any sexual activity that conflicts with one’s values, spiritual/religious beliefs, or what is deemed appropriate by society.
• Frequent Use of Sexual Services – Sexual addiction is progressive. Beginning to involve human interaction is a sign of escalation. That may include phone sex, visits to strip clubs, having multiple partners or one-night stands, connecting through internet chat rooms, or paying for sexual encounters.
• Increased Reckless Sexual Activity – Starting to abuse substances during sexual activities or beginning to engage in aggressive or dangerous sexual acts (such as autoerotic asphyxiation).
• Frequently Engaging in Paraphilia – These are sexual behaviors that involve another person’s psychological distress, injury, or death. Examples include the following:
  • Exhibitionism (exposing genitals to strangers)
  • Voyeurism (watching or engaging in sexual activities with others)
  • Sadomasochism (sexual pleasure from inflicting pain or humiliation on others)
  • Pedophilia (sexual feelings toward children).
• Loss of Control – The inability to control one’s sexual behavior despite negative impacts on finances, relationships, health, and mental well-being.

CONSEQUENCES OF UNTREATED SEX ADDICTION

Untreated sexual addiction or hypersexuality is highly destructive and corrosive. Some of the consequences may be:

• Failing to have a normal, healthy relationship with your sexual partner and family.
• Declining work performance and possible career loss due to one’s inability to focus and produce at work or watching pornography at work.
• Financial insecurity due to overspending on sexual activities.
• Negative health consequences such as unwanted pregnancy or STDs.
• Engaging in recreational drug use or excessive consumption of alcohol.
• Developing additional mental health disorders such as anxiety, stress, major depressive disorder, or suicidality.
• Incarceration due to sexual offenses.
• Great emotional pain, including feelings of shame, remorse, and hopelessness.

WHAT CAUSES SEXUAL ADDICTION?

The exact causes of compulsive sexual behavior are not entirely clear to scientists, but they believe several factors play a role in its development, including the following:

• Brain damage or dysfunction in the prefrontal cortex, frontal lobe, and amygdala
• Imbalanced neurohormones (dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine)
• Substance abuse, altered brain function that produces new neural pathways of addictive behavior, and sometimes even medication
• Emotional dysregulation, adverse childhood experiences (trauma, emotional, physical, or sexual abuse), and genetics
• Conditions such as dementia, epilepsy, and bipolar disorder

HEALING FROM SEX ADDICTION: JOSE’S STORY

The big question for many people is, can a sex addict change? Jose’s story demonstrates that it is possible.

Jose was a chronic cheater, and it was destroying his marriage and his family. Despite his behavior indicating otherwise, Jose expressed a strong desire to be with his wife, and he wanted to be a better role model for his daughter.

Understandably, his wife was hurt and angry by his infidelities and wanted him to change. If he didn’t, she threatened to walk out on him.

Jose’s addictive behavior extended beyond extramarital affairs. He had a need for speed, exhibiting excitement-seeking behavior that delivered an adrenaline rush—and a succession of speeding tickets.

He was also tattooed from head to toe. Getting tattooed can release endorphins—pain-relieving hormones that can create a euphoric feeling.

Before seeking help, Jose had been faithful for a year but still engaged in viewing pornography.

Jose’s brain SPECT scans proved to be instrumental in understanding why he had such a hard time breaking the cycle of sex addiction. His brain scans revealed three areas of brain dysfunction, which needed to be addressed:

1. Increased Activity in the Anterior Cingulate Gyrus (ACG)

Located in the front of the brain, the ACG acts as the brain’s “gear shifter.” An overactive ACG is highly associated with compulsive behavior and lower levels of serotonin.

Imagine the gear shifter becomes stuck, and the brain gets stuck on negative thoughts and behaviors. This could explain obsessive thinking that is very much part of sex addiction.

2. Decreased Activity in the Prefrontal Cortex (PFC)

Also located in the front of the brain, decreased activity in the PFC is associated with low dopamine levels and impulsivity. The PFC acts like the cop in our head, helping us to stay focused on our goals without distractions or poor choices that take us down the wrong path.

The PFC also acts as a brake, preventing us from saying or acting on the first thing that comes to mind. Jose’s behavior and scan showed that this was an area of great concern.

3. Evidence of Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI)

Jose’s scans showed signs of head trauma, with areas damaged in the front and back part of his brain. This likely played a significant role in his troublesome behavior.

Thus, taking measures to balance his brain function could be what he needed to overcome his sex addiction.

JOSE’S HEALING PROTOCOL FOR SEX ADDICTION

SPECT imaging provided much-needed information to create a tailored approach to optimizing Jose’s brain, especially the areas that were struggling. The experts at Amen Clinics recommended the following protocol:

• No Alcohol

Alcohol would compromise Jose’s prefrontal cortex function and decrease his brain’s braking power to say no to his thrill-seeking and sexual urges.

• Adequate Sleep

Jose needed to get the recommended 7-9 hours of sleep a night. Less than six hours of sleep is associated with lower overall blood flow to the brain, which translates to more poor decision-making.

• Improved Diet

Jose had to learn to eat brain healthy foods to help keep his blood sugar stable. It’s difficult to make good decisions with low blood sugar levels.

• Eliminate Caffeine

Jose had to cut out the many energy drinks he had every day as caffeine constricts blood flow to the brain. Anything that limits cerebral blood flow fuels poor decision making.

• Brain Supplements

Recommendations for Jose included nutraceuticals to support healthy serotonin and dopamine levels as well as overall brain health and function.

In addition to the brain health protocol, Jose learned two words to ask himself whenever he had an urge to act impulsively: “Then what?” This helped him think about the consequences of his actions.

To Jose’s surprise—and his wife’s surprise too—Jose started making better decisions. After seven months of following the protocol, his ACG no longer had a hold on his thinking in the same way and his PFC was able to put the brakes on when faced with temptation. His marriage improved dramatically.

4 SEX ADDICTION RECOVERY TIPS

There’s no cure for sex addiction, but recovery is possible. Here are sex addiction treatment options to get you or a loved one started on a path of healing.

1. Get a psychiatric evalution.

A full psychiatric evaluation from a qualified mental health professional is critical for accurate diagnosis and to evaluate for co-occurring mental health conditions.

2. Try therapy.

Therapy for sex addiction can be instrumental in helping an afflicted individual learn how to manage their compulsive sexual behavior. Cognitive therapy for sex addiction can be particularly helpful, research indicates.

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) helps the individual identify unhealthy, negative beliefs and behaviors and replace them with more effective ones—similar to how Jose learned to use “Then what?” when confronted with a compulsive urge. Therapy can help facilitate emotional healing from sex addiction as well.

And research has shown that EMDR (stands for eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) therapy can be a useful tool in the treatment of sex addiction as it helps resolve trauma.

3. Protect your brain’s pleasure centers.

In today’s world, many individuals are overwhelming their brain’s pleasure centers with near-constant exposure to intensely stimulating activities, such as social media, video games, text messaging, adrenaline-inducing movies, sexting, internet pornography, and more. These all have an effect on brain function and can lead to addiction.

Limit your exposure to too much intense pleasurable experiences and care for your brain health (as Jose did) to support optimal functioning for better control and decision making.

4. Explore a 12-step program for sex addiction.

Some research indicates that participation in a 12-step program such as Sexaholics Anonymous is linked to lower overall compulsive sexual behavior and greater well-being.  

As you can see from Jose’s example, overcoming sex addiction and compulsive cheating is possible. Focusing on brain health is a key component of healing, so you and your loved ones can work on rebuilding a relationship built on trust and honesty.